Page 36 - The Tree of Happiness
P. 36
In Part One of the Tree of Happiness, we introduce a variation of Stinky Thinking, with the idea of Wizard Statements. Unlike Stinky Thinking which may be situational or fleeting, Wizard Statements are Stinky Thinking beliefs that have become firmly rooted in our belief system.
They are absolutes; (I am unlovable). They are not subject to modification (I made an “F” not because I did not study but because I am stupid). Their validity can not be questioned (I’ve always been like this). Their origin is frequently unknown (I don’t know why it is, it just is). Finally, they are frequently so habituated that we are not aware of them (I just went on automatic pilot).
These ridged automatic thoughts (Wizard Statements) are used to evaluate our lives, others, our future etc., without ever understanding their existence much less their validity. Even young children have developed such beliefs and part of your efforts to be a good parent is to help them identify these beliefs and to determine if they are rational.
The child whose repeated failures seem to be counter to their intelligence may need to identify their Wizard Belief and challenge and change it. This belief could range from “I am too stupid to pass so why try” to “I am so smart I will pass even if I don’t study .”
Both of these are Wizard Beliefs because they have no basis in reality. As long as the child insists on adhering to the belief, they are doomed to fail. There may be some historical rationale for such thinking. Perhaps they were called stupid in the past. They may have a low tolerance for frustration and experienced failure in the past for lack of preparation.
Conversely, previous classes may not have challenged them and they could succeed with minimal effort. It is possible that no one will ever know the genesis of the irrational Wizard Belief but you can observe its consequences.
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