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Confirmation 97
there a different quality to it? Or doesn’t that seem important? I’m asking because Sai Baba says that the drug experience looks authentic but isn’t—it’s like plastic grapes.
A: I don’t know. The difference in quality was that I couldn’t place the blame for it anywhere. It’s like having a dream. I have my dreams and sometimes I really wish I could blame somebody else for my dreams. It was something I ate, or (laughter)—I didn’t really dream that dream, it was somebody else, it wasn’t really me. But you can’t turn around and say the drug put it there or somebody suggested it to me and therefore it came.
S: Did you have a dream this last week?
A: I had a couple of dreams but nothing that sticks with me except a dream last night in which I had sort of laboriously pushed myself up a hill on a skateboard or some such flat device and came to a stream. And the way that it seemed to be—isn’t this funny, this is the same image of the waterfall that I just told you about. It was a waterfall, which fell some fairly large distance down and the water was moving very rapidly and I just sort of shoved myself into the stream and plummeted over the waterfall. I don’t remember landing at the bottom, but the dream continued. I sort of climbed out of the stream and went to wherever it was I was going.
S: Do you remember the latter part of the dream?
A: Not really, except that I think that the people who were there were my women’s group whom I’m going to be meeting with tonight. S: Had you thought about this image of Yosemite, the example
you told me earlier, between last time and now, or did you —
A: It just came to me right now.
S: What might these symbols mean about you? Do you have any
idea?
A: Well, that there is something about me that’s rushing
headlong to an abyss and it’s just going to plunge over it and presumably I’d survived. I mean I always felt this wonderful, not identification exactly, but you know—these swallows. If I were going to be a different creature in this world I should think I would want to be one of those swallows. This ability to just soar out—but they don’t soar; they swoop, they dive, they’re quick, active little creatures and they’re just utterly in command of all of this space, because they don’t fall out of the air.