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aachment to the fruits of the acts, I still got caught in the thinking that I was the doer, and thus became frustrated. Being with Swami has taught me, to some degree, that I am not the doer, that it is God who does everything. Yet, I still got caught up in the game and believed it was real.
Life is a game, play it! (SSB)
Of course, this is the game of life, isn’t it? Even though Swami gives us proof that this world is he in disguise, that he is omnipresent and behind all activity, we still get caught by names and forms, believing that the outer world of sense objects is real. Complete detachment was needed, and I was to get a big dose of it on this trip.
First, there was the carrot (like the horse that is made to go forward by dangling a carrot in front of him): the belief that the trip would occur. Then, there was the obstacle, again the carrot, again the obstacle, again the carrot, again the obstacle, all in quick succession! Even though I played the game with some understanding and was fascinated by the complexity and the humor, I still reacted to it by becoming ruffled and dizzy.
Swami said I could meet the group in Bangalore and then he gave me permission to go to Delhi (carrot). Then I heard that the Russians did not have visas (obstacle), but that they might be able to get them (carrot). Aer the car ride from Prasanthi Nilayam to Bangalore, where I was going to catch a plane to Delhi, I found that my helpful travel agent had a day off (obstacle). I wanted to call my Delhi friend for the latest news about the Russian visas, thinking that if they succeeded in obtaining them, I could stay in Bangalore to receive them as Baba had mentioned. However, the hotel phone could not make this long distance call, and I had to call from a public booth (obstacle).
Time was short, my plane was scheduled to leave in 25 minutes and yet, I had to patiently wait my turn at the public
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