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the television and was about to throw it out of his second story bedroom window, when his eyes fell on the picture of Swami on his wall. Immediately Jim stopped himself, even in his paranoid rage, recognizing that his action was not right. Swami can appear at the most unusual and unexpected times, to give strength and steadiness even at a time of extreme insanity.
It is infrequent, but other patients have told me of visitations they have had from God. I had been treating a chronically paranoid man named John for 20 years. He lived a very restricted lifestyle at home with his wife. Periodically, he had rage reactions and an intense impulse to hurt someone. John agreed to let me have his rifle and gun. When he was in one of these intense paranoid states, he still allowed me to regulate his medication and help him through the storm. John was quick to find fault with neighbors and became enraged to the point of wanting to harm them. He recognized that the impulse was not right and that he should try to control it, but when in a rage, he also felt some enjoyment from it. He was a Christian, but long ago had given up his relationship with Christ because he feared being punished.
One day in treatment, John quite unexpectedly brought up the subject of having had a special visitation from God, seeing Jesus come alive in a picture he had. He spoke about it with such unusual love that I didn’t consider it to be a psychotic experience, but rather a genuinely spiritual one. He felt that it was a miraculous sign that Jesus loved him, and he was uplied by it. Without fail, for months following, John remembered the event and spoke of his growing feelings about being accepted by God.
About four months aer the initial experience, John was standing at a window and saw his neighbor. He had the thought to harm him. Then to his surprise, John felt God, in a loving, gentle manner, encourage him out of his anger. This moment was the first time he had ever experienced love directing him away from his paranoia and rage. He was happy to have God lovingly enter his life to teach and guide him.
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