Page 24 - Zone Magazine Issue 014

How The Groove Cruise
Saved My Life
Two days before The Groove Cruise set sail from Miami, I had the most severe and random panic attack. All of a sudden, this overwhelming sensation of not being able to breathe came over me and suffocated me from the inside out. I could feel my hands tingling as I tried to inhale while fighting the urge to pass out. The paramedics were called and after a few tests, they told me I’d just had a severe panic attack and diagnosed me with “severe anxiety and depression.”
"I’ve never had anxiety before. Sure, fighting the everyday struggles of life and inhaling the raw negativities of this world stresses me out, but that’s normal isn’t it? I don’t necessarily feel anxious or depressed; I mean shit, I was going on The Groove Cruise in two days!"
My excitement turned to fear the day before the cruise. In fact, it was as if having anxiety gave me even more anxiety. I couldn’t control the bad thoughts in my head no matter how hard I tried to stay positive. In that moment, I felt like I didn’t even know who I was anymore. I used to live regret free and out of nowhere I was afraid to live. In fact, I wasn’t even sure I wanted to go anymore. “It’s the fucking Groove Cruise Melissa. Get your shit together and go have some fun.”
Thank God I stepped on that boat because doing so saved my life.
Boarding the Carnival Victory, I was definitely happy to be back. The previous night’s anxiety had subdued and as this was my second Groove Cruise, I already knew to expect some wild and crazy antics. I also knew that I was surrounded by family again. All those everyday fears of not being liked, not fitting in, and general negative thoughts simply dissolved the moment I boarded the boat.
I recognized so many beautiful faces from last year and I was determined to talk to everybody I possibly could (as I learned from being a GC virgin, you
should talk to as many people as possible). One beer in and I had already made so many friends.
Day one was an absolute blast! Walking in and seeing Keith Christopher on the decks followed by Kristina Sky was the perfect way to start the cruise. After the muster drill, Scotty Boy, Sam Feldt, Croatia Squad, and the unicorn slayer himself, Markus Schulz, blasted the decks and made for an epic beginning to an amazing experience. I danced, I drank, I loved and I laughed, and for one blissful night, I forgot all about my anxiety.
That is, until I woke up the next morning.
There’s no such thing as sleep on The Groove Cruise (#teamnosleep), so when I awoke from my four hour power nap, I headed over to the dining room for breakfast. It was there that I felt this instantaneous, overwhelming discomfort and depression. It felt like a giant black cloud had followed me onboard, giving way for a night before igniting a thunderstorm of negative poison. A friend of mine took one look at me and immediately knew something was wrong.
“Are you ok?” he asked. “You look depressed.”
“I’m not ok.” I replied. “I am depressed.”
“Why?” “I don’t know.” I said!
And I didn’t. In this moment, I had no clue as to what was wrong with me, why I was sad, nor could I really grasp what or how I was feeling. In fact, I’m still not quite sure where those feelings came from or why I felt them. All I knew was that I had waited a whole year to be back on this boat, with the people who made me feel more at home than my own household, and somehow, instead of those blissful, beautiful, loving feelings - I felt more alone, anxious and out of place than ever.
At this point I didn’t know what to do. It was only day two and I was lost. I asked the Universe for a sign, for advice, and for help. They say you have to be lost in order to be found and the universe was about to find me again. I walked out of the dining room and instantly became enchanted by a strong, smoky aroma that entered my nose and sent vibrations throughout my entire body. Entranced by this mysterious scent, I followed the smell into the Oz room where my life was about
to be saved.
Like most groove cruisers, I stumbled into the Oz room by accident. Many believe (especially in that room) there are no mistakes in this world and that everything happens for a reason - and I agree. From the moment I made my entrance I knew I was destined to experience Oz in all its glory. I asked for a sign and found myself led to my intended destination. I was hypnotised by the essence, the love, and the vibrations radiating out of the room. The second I entered Oz, I felt sensations of peace, comfort, and serenity power through my body.
I followed the scent to a quiet, peaceful circle where I noticed a DoTerra oil diffuser igniting the essence and setting the mood. I spoke to Jen Friend about the uncontrollable anxiety and depression I was feeling and she mellowed me out with a plethora of oils. There were only about four or five of us in this small gathering while nearly twenty others participated in a yoga- instructed meditation. After relaxing with essential oils, I joined in for my own meditative session.
Inhaling the oils, listening to the meditations, and the overall positive vibes of love and relaxation gave me a natural body high, soothing my soul almost instantly. What felt like an hour had turned into six as I meditated and allowed my body and mind to relax. I literally watched the fear, worry, and anxiety uplift and flee from my body as soothing vibes of relaxation and peace entered in with every breath. With every inhale I became more and more of myself again, while the feeling(s) of not knowing who I was were released with every exhale.
I entered Oz a total wreck, filled with angst, worry and sadness, internally falling apart piece by piece; I left feeling complete and knowing who I was again. Much to my delight, the vibes in the room were truly healing - and I needed to be healed. If it wasn’t for those six hours of pure zen, The Groove Cruise would have been a completely different and utterly uncomfortable experience.
Side note: The Laser Assassins absolutely killed it with their incredible, mind-blowing visual performances in the theatre. Well done my friends. Well done.
24 ZONE-MAGAZINE.COM
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