Page 126 - The Letter By Ann Newhouse

He must have given him his work number it came rushing back the whole feeling of betrayal, he kept it all so secret from me, what did I mean to him?
I suddenly felt nauseous again and had to excuse myself. The tears burst through I had no control. I dragged myself back to my bed and collapsed onto it, Why? I mumbled as I fell into a deep but agitated sleep.
The room was dark when I opened my eyes again and I dragged myself up and staggered down the stairs. The cottage was cold and empty, and I felt miserable. I wanted Rex to be here to cuddle me and tell me it was all a bad dream.
I flicked the switched on the coffee percolator and lit the fire. I waited until the coffee gurgled before making myself some toast. I couldn’t bear to put on the lights as my eyes were swollen from weeping. The dark was more comforting right now. I sat staring at the fire trying to make sense of everything. I don’t know how long I sat there but when the daylight started to stream in I decided I needed to go and see Penny.
‘I don’t know what to say to make it better’, she put her arms around me, ‘I can’t give you any advice just that he will need time to take everything in no matter what he says about loving you’.
‘I love him, but I don’t know if we can put this behind us’, I confessed, ‘the truth is that sometimes Rex would do something, and it would remind me of Tony and I guess I just shoved that to the back of my mind’, I know now that subconsciously I had been doing that for a long time now.
‘I don’t want Tony to come between us, but I don’t want him to keep us together either’, Penny hugged me holding me for a while until I felt better.