Page 35 - ALG Issue 4 2020

Beware of brothers-in-law
offering gifts
No allotment holder can pass up free manure, and I’m no exception. When my brother-in-law told be about where this could be obtained, and what’s more, already bagged, I was up for it. His offer to use his trailer also meant it would be a good-sized haul.
The next day, with eager anticipation, I set off early to his home, some ten miles away.
The trailer was hitched up and off we went to collect our bounty. This was achieved with no difficulty and the trailer was loaded up with well-rotted manure. Oh, happy days! Or so I thought.
After a few miles, a rather disturbing noise was emanating from one of the trailer wheels. A closer inspection showed that one of the nuts was missing and the others were loose. A discussion followed and
it was decided to unhitch the trailer and leave it on the grass verge whilst we went to find a garage to buy a nut and spanner. This we managed. “Have you any money?” asked the brother-in-law. Luckily for him the answer was yes, as I forked out the £7 demanded.
Back to the car to sort out the wheel. After fitting the new nut and tightening the others we decided to inspect the other trailer wheel. This also looked a bit ‘iffy’ so we decided to lighten the load by removing half the sacks of manure and left them on the side of the road. Perhaps for another lucky allotment holder to find.
The trailer was hitched up again and it was back in the car to head for home. A minor setback I thought.
About five miles later there was a thud and a trailer wheel overtook us, narrowly missing an oncoming car. What now? “I know where you can buy trailer wheels” the brother-in-law announced. “It’s only about half an hour away.”
A sense of déjà vu engulfed me. The trailer was unhitched and left on the grass verge and off we went to track down the replacement wheel.
After being redirected by the first garage who didn’t have one in stock, we finally obtained one at the cost of £40. You’ve guessed it: “Have you enough to pay for the wheel?” the brother-in-law enquired. Luckily the answer was yes, and the money was handed over.
Back at the trailer once again, we managed to refit the new wheel and realised it wasn’t the wheel that shed a nut that had managed to overtake the car earlier on. This meant the trailer was still suspect and not possibly to be relied on.
A decision was taken. The remaining bags of manure would also have to be abandoned to give us a chance of getting home. These too were left on the side of the road. Were these found by the same or a different allotment holder? We will never know.
The trailer was hitched up once again. “It’s beginning to get dark and the trailer doesn’t have any lights. We had better get a move on” announced the brother-in-law. Due to the disappearing light we made the shorter journey to my house and parked the trailer in the garage to be picked up the next day.
In a nutshell – I’d been out for eight hours, forked out £47 and had not one dollop or sniff of manure.
Peter Taylor
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Allotment and Leisure Gardener 35