Page 14 - WTP Vol. X #7

7
Woodchuck
(from the Northeastern Algonquian, ockqutchaun; also from the Narragansett, wuchak, wejack)
Climatological prognosticator and avuncular vegetarian,
he chooses pacifism until he’s cornered. Conservative, plump, toothy, he hunkers
at roadsides, snagging
his meals where and when
he can. He’ll never be anyone’s choice for state animal.
His thoughtful opinions
on sunshine, rain, and grass
are widely known
and admired by all.
A consummate politician,
he offends no one
but New England farmers,
who hate his appetites.
Three methods
of eradication
are currently popular.
Green consumers vote
for trapping, and release him
on the town line. Traditionalists
favor slow death by smoking rag stuffed down his hole.
Radicals blast him out
with cherry bombs
sheathed in glass containers.
The ordinary citizen
simply fills his holes
again and again. Unlike
many other animals,
the chuck is provident,
always digging front and side and back doors, always leaving himself
a way out.
Karen Kilcup