Page 5 - Depth of the Heart

I had a plan. I did not want to be gay. I did not want to live a life of rejection and discrimination, to be the butt end of a joke, to be told that God hated me. How can that be? Little Ronnie who always felt close to the powers that be. How could I have been created and damned at the same time? Something was wrong. There must have been a mistake. Then I found the answer to my problem after I read the biography of Christine Jorgenson. That’s it! I was put into the wrong body, just like Christine. If I just change my sex, then I can marry and live a normal life like everyone else. I told my mother that I was on the waiting list to be interviewed by Johns Hopkins in preparation for the operation. I was so naive and innocent. I had not yet learned that anything different is never accepted by the human race.
My poor mother, I dropped this bombshell on her right at the time that her marriage was falling apart. My stepfather stopped my college tuition and I was forced to leave school. I moved to New York, and I soon met my first significant other, Gary Burg, who promised to marry me after my operation.