Page 7 - Storytelling - Storylistening

III. How to Talk to Elders
“Believing you need to do anything differently than with anyone else when speaking to old people is wrong.”
– David Greenberger, creator of The Duplex Planet and its 25-year collection of conversations with seniors
“Elders are just people who have gotten older with all the distinctiveness and interesting points of view as anyone else.”
– Wendy Lustbader, MSW., author, grandmother and nationally recognized expert on aging
Caregivers and volunteers can encourage reminiscing and storytelling during normal, everyday encounters with residents. The following tips apply when talking with persons of any age.
• Adopt a posture of interest. Do not tower over those in wheelchairs and beds. Suspend extraneous and distractive activities, assume a relaxed position and establish appropriate eye contact – it comes naturally when you are truly interested in what the other person is saying.
• Give full attention to the speaker. Listen with the intention of understanding what is being said rather than thinking about how you will respond.
• Do not assume you have to shout for an old person to hear you, that you know what they think or what they are going to say, or that they have had the same experiences or frames of reference as you.
• Do not judge them by age, physical appearance or whether what they are saying is the absolute truth. Lay aside your own views to hear without bias what the other person says.
• Be respectful. Do not belittle their experiences. Remember that calling someone you hardly know “honey” or “dear” and speaking in the plural (‘how are WE today’) can be offensive.
• Accept them as they are in the moment without pitying them for their frailties or worshiping them as having the wisdom of the ages—this serves only to distance you from them.
“If you put somebody on a pedestal, you’re not seeing them eye-to-eye,” says David Greenberger.
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©Action Pact, Inc.2005-2006
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