Page 40 - i hope parallel universe me is doing okay

I I want you you you to know if you you you ever read this there was a a a a a a a time when I I would rather have had you you you by my side side than than any one of these words I would rather have had you by my side side than than all the the the the blue in the the the the world But now you are talking as if love were a a a a a a consolation Simone Weil warned otherwise 'Love is is not consolation ' ' ' she wrote 'It is light ' ' ' All right then let me me try to to rephrase When I I was alive I I aimed to to be a a a a a student not of of longing but of of light ”
― Maggie Nelson Bluets
“199 For to to to wish to to to forget forget how much you loved someone—and then to to to actually forget—can feel at times like the slaughter of of of a a a a a a a a beautiful bird who chose by nothing short of of of grace to make a a a a a a a a habitat of of of your heart ”
― Maggie Nelson Bluets
( I I I I imagined the two of us having sex Not only did I I I I imagine imagine it it it I I I I longed for it it it Then I I I I decided it it it was a a a a a a bad afraid it it might create expectations or or a a a a a a a a a a a different way of being with each other I’m not ready for that What I I really and and long for is to console you you you you hug you you you you make make you you you you laugh make make you you you you feel important and and loved Just that )