Page 2 - Compassion Understood - Understanding Grief

Understanding grief
Just as every pet is unique, every relationship between a person and their pet is unique. The mixture of feelings that we each experience during pet loss will vary from one person to the next.
Some people might view the loss of their pet in a pragmatic way; they are able to move on quite quickly, without in any way denigrating the depth of feeling they had for their pet when it was alive.
Others experience a deeper, longer feeling of loss, and for some it can affect how they cope with everyday things going forward. It’s important to recognise that every feeling is valid. There is no right or wrong way to feel. Just as your pet was unique, your feelings around pet loss are unique to you and you should not feel pressured to ‘get over it’ or ‘get on’.
Some of the emotions that you might experience around pet loss follow here. Grieving for a pet might involve some, all or none of these emotions. For some it can be a shorter process, taking hours, or days to work through; for other it could be months or even years.
Anticipatory Grief
Grieving is a very natural process.
For some, grieving can start before
the pet has actually died. This is called Anticipatory Grief. This is the name given to the feelings that occur in some people who are expecting death in a loved one. It can apply just as much
to pets as to people. These feelings
can be similar to the feelings of grief that are experienced after a pet’s passing, but in addition might include feelings of fear about what life might be like without a beloved companion. Anticipatory Grief is normal; it doesn’t mean that you are giving up on your pet. In the same way that you would reach out or express your emotions of grief after your pet has passed,
it’s equally valid to express your grief before your companion is gone.
What Anticipatory Grief does do, is to allow us to reflect on life without that companion. It gives an opportunity to spend time with our beloved friend, and to express your love before they are gone. You have the chance to spend the time doing some things that you perhaps hadn’t got around to, or to just simply spend precious spare moments cuddling on the sofa.
Keeping a grief diary or journal is one way of helping us come to terms with the impending death of our companion. Committing our thoughts to paper helps to validate our feelings and provides an outlet to the intense emotions that we are feeling. We can express any fears and identify where we might need more support.
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