Page 21 - 2018 AdventDevo-Flip book

Wednesday, December 12
A Season of Joy, A Season of Grief
“Do not be afraid, for I am with you.”

Scripture: Isaiah 43: 1-5

When you have lost loved ones, like so many of us have, it takes a new
kind of effort and energy to manage or survive any holiday. Oftentimes
the anticipation can be even harder than the actual holiday itself. Each of
us has to figure out what we can comfortably handle. When grieving,
every day is filled with the thoughts and memories of loved ones and
what our life was like before their death. During the holidays these
memories can be even more present resulting in even more personal
grief. Feelings of loneliness, anxiety and depression can be compound-
ed. Society wants us to join in the holiday spirit, but all around are the
sights, sounds and smells that trigger memories of those who have died.

No simple guidelines exist that will take away the hurt. But with a little
bit of time and a lot of support, I have found a few strategies that have
helped our family since we were forever changed by the death of my hus-
band, Brian, and my daughter, Megan. I hope they might help you too.

Be intentional about self-care. Take care of your emotional and mental
health by making time for reflection through journaling about holiday
experiences, emotions and memories. Spiritual renewal and focus is so
important. Find strength in your faith. Spend time with God in prayer
and ask Him to guide you through the holiday season. The holidays will
be easier to face if you take care of your physical health. It is essential to
get enough rest, exercise, sunlight and healthy food.

Decide in advance how to make your holiday preparations meaningful,
yet manageable. Set realistic expectations and understand your limita-
tions. You don’t have to put out all of your decorations. Buying gifts for
everyone is not necessary, and holiday meals can be simplified. It is okay
to say no to holiday invitations or to only stay at a gathering for a short
time if that is what you need.
It may be helpful to begin new traditions to honor the memory of your