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So I can go sing in bars here, but after that song I'm stumped and it's not really worth it to drive into town, lug a guitar to a bar, and do five minutes.
I've also done four shows for the bridge club. Two of them went very well, one was a bust, and one was drowned out by a pile driver down the road.
My friend, Ross Shaffer, told me a story about a guy who got hired to do an outdoor show in the big yard behind a mansion. He told them he didn't do outdoor shows but they swore up and down they'd set everything up perfectly, with good sound and lights, etc. He agreed and when he arrived the setup was indeed perfect. A stage was set up on a huge lawn with a beautiful lagoon behind it. The soundcheck was great, the lights right, and when people were all seated, facing him, he walked out to do his show. That's when hundreds of frogs erupted into song. I'd never heard of a show being blown away by croaking.
I had a friend on the ships, George Sakellariou, who is one of the greatest classical guitarists I've ever heard. He also has a wry sense of humor and does wonderful concerts. One day he was home and his wife answered the phone. The guy on the other end wanted George to play at his wedding. She told him George was a concert guitarist and didn't do weddings, but the guy asked to speak to George anyway. George picked up the phone and the guy said, "Hi George, I'm Steve Jobs and I love classical guitar."
George played the wedding.
Where was I? I remember now, Thailand. One of the open mics here is at a place called Yummies Pizza and I had a friend, Doug Moeller, visiting from Seattle. Doug had seen me do TV shows, casinos and theaters and we balanced that out when I brought him with me to Yummies Pizza and he watched me bomb. Oh sure, there was a large table in front of the stage filled with loud, drunken Germans who didn't understand what the hell I was doing, so I had an excuse, but Doug loves to remind me of how low I've fallen.
I also thought I would inspire Jintana's nieces to take up guitar and the game of golf. I would share my knowledge and be a far better teacher than the idiot parents who haunt driving ranges and music studios, yelling at their kids and teaching them all the wrong things.
How could the girls resist my love of golf and music? Well, they've resisted very well thank you. I've taken them to the driving range and they like whacking the balls around but they have no desire to play golf because it's played in the sun. You think Americans judge people by the color of their skin? Thai people are equally bad. To them, dark skin means you're a farmer or a hill tribe person and very low on the social scale. Every skin-care product in Thailand is loaded with whiteners and every Thai movie and TV star is lily white. I have tried to explain to the girls that skin color means nothing and that there are beautiful people of all