Page 31 - MN

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Bridge, the Best Way to Lower Your Grade Point
I went back to the bridge club today. I know what you're thinking. Oh boy! The card game old people played before video games. We're talking fun!
I'll be brief.
I quit bridge about a month ago because I overdosed. As usual, if I get into a game I want to win. Then I realize some other people will always be better because of little things, like the ability to count to 13.
Here's a secret.
All human games, all music, all comedy, all art forms, are just plain silly. Wow, you put a ball in a hoop and make 30 million a year! Tell me that's not silly. You sat in a room and played guitar 8 hours a day until your fingers bled and you had to super glue the callouses back on. Tell me that's a form of sanity. Yeah, right. I have a friend, Mark Nizer, who is the best, most inventive juggler I've ever seen. His theory was that all mastery arises from inner pain. You have to have some form of inner pain to stand in a garage eight hours a day juggling stuff.
Bridge. A card game. Actually it's a fascinating card game my parents played and I thought was stupid until I learned it in college and lowered my grade point a couple notches. I'd play at lunch, and then not go to my next class because I was sitting on a slam hand and couldn't walk away.
After college I sang in bars until I got drafted. Being smart, when they asked about skills, I said I could type 60 words a minute. My thinking was that I'd never seen a typewriter near the front lines. 60 words a minute? Not even close, but it got me stationed as a clerk at Fort Ord. Not only that, I got put in an office with two other guys who could type. As a result, we could do our work in a couple of hours. We typed allotments, and we could run through a company in about an hour. Another hour to set them up and we were done.
So, what to do with the other 6 hours?
Those two guys, and the lieutenant who ran the office played, you guessed it, bridge. We were the only office in the army that had a bridge club.
Good people too. Lieutenant Phil Greenspun was the only officer I knew who got pissed off if you saluted him, because he had to salute back. If you saluted him when no one was looking he would give you the finger.
Andy Sarkany (I'm not sure of his last name, I haven't thought of him in years) was the quiet guy. I think he had a degree in history, and wouldn't be surprised if he became very successful.