Page 16 - Billy Graham in Heaven

The Four Lane into the Brain
9
He’d become Uncle Sam, jauntily recruiting soldiers. “Great!” said Jake. “You’ve still got a bit of wit, but it’s also grumpy-old bitterness.” Newt was 62 and Jake 65 in
2028.
“Go on and make fun of sincere people,” Jake continued.
“You might win the Nobel Prize for Cynicism if the DTs don’t get you first.”
Jake paced forth and back with his hands jammed into his pockets, causing his pants to drag even more on the floor. He tripped.
“And that outside sign, `One Life to Live,’” Jake said, recovering his balance. “Why reinforce the view that there’s no mystery in death. Besides, the phrase is copyrighted by a soap opera I think.”
“I’m not half as mean as the Christians who’re constantly threatening Hell,” Newt replied. He spewed open another Bud. “You know what happened last week in Lancaster, Tennessee. Christians ran off a pagan commune. Inquisition burnings are next, I’m telling you.”
Unbeknownst to Jake, Newt had a Spectrom rigged in his store for customers wanting to take part in the Monkey Trial debate of Clarence Darrow and William Jennings Bryan.
Newt knew Jake loved Michelle Pfeiffer and bought bootleg speks of her from his porn connections. He flipped a button beneath the counter and Pfeiffer as Catwoman appeared. Newt grinned and said: “Cat baby, go say hello to my friend Jake.” Instantly the computer scanned the room for other life forms and ordered Catwoman toward Jake. Slinking in her shiny black-leather tights, she looked as if she were about to devour Jake sexually — or maybe