Page 60 - Billy Graham in Heaven

The Promised Land Pub
53
seems particularly sloshed tonight. Sorry about that.” “Don’t let it happen again,” said the man, who then
walked off with his lady friend.
“You know Newt,” said Jake, “Billy Graham does have
you nailed. What is it? ... Oh yeah, `Sex is a tyrant,’ is one of his favorite lines.”
“But what a tantalizing tyrant,” glowed Newt at Greta.
Greta blushed and said: “Tyrannical yes, but when abused only.”
“Greta and I were talking about converting Graham to antiwar,” said Jake.
“Leave me be,” said Newt. “You guys think there’s hope when we just had a good war that 98% of America is feeling great about. Beauty is all that’s left, and I plan to take my share before AIDS makes us all afraid.”
“You may be right,” answered Jake. “Yet since you grew up in the middle of the Civil Rights movement in Alabama, you of all people shouldn’t underestimate the possibility of dramatic transformations.”
“So we have the world’s most powerful spiritual guy nearby,” snarled Newt. “North Carolina also grew Jesse Helms, the world’s most powerful bigot. Heck, if it wasn’t for the fact that it also created Michael Jordan, I might as well go back to Alabama.”
“I don’t need this negativity right now,” said Jake. “Bye Greta. Newt, you take care of yourself.”
Greta watched Jake leave then moved closer to Newt.
Newt ignored her and announced to the crowd, “Basketball was invented by a preacher to be a nonviolent sport, and America has turned it into football.” He glared defiantly.