Page 36 - #LoveWarrior

Chapter Five
The Five Steps of Healing

Gentlemen, take a moment to raise a glass to the ladies that have loved you and the ones that will love you. Ladies,
take a moment to “cheers” to those that let us go. For some, we represented a bullet dodged, for others, we were like
shooting stars, uncatchable but life changing.

A Quick Snapshot

The Five Steps of Healing
Before we break each one down, take a moment to slowly read through the five steps of healing I have created.

Step 1: Recognize the shock.
Recognize the shock. Acknowledge the loss of the relationship and the discomfort of a schedule without your former
partner or spouse. Allow yourself to feel the sorrow that comes from a lost life – the life you envisioned living with
them by your side. This is a pivotal moment. Here is where we decide what path we will take – the path of least
resistance toward bitterness, hatred, and eventually more death or the path of redemption and new life.

Step 2: The Re-discovery of all things you.
The Re-discovery of all things you, includes becoming an individual again and getting back to a healthy you.

Step 3: Letting Go.
Letting go will include releasing the fantasy you've built up surrounding your former partner or spouse and the
relationship. It includes collecting data on the truth of what happened and what went wrong.

Step 4: Appreciation.
This step will allow you the chance to review the collected data and alter your attitude in the direction of a positive,
thankful, loving nature. This stage is best accomplished with a fresh set of eyes as a result of completing steps one
through three.

Step 5: Living Intentionally.
Here, you will be empowered. You will have a newfound strength and confidence. You will trust yourself and
others, either for the first time or again.

— Step 1 —
Recognize the shock

Acknowledging the loss of a relationship requires identifying as an individual again. This step is one we normally
don’t take by choice. Even if you’re the one who initiated the breakup, this step still demands intention. It will
require strength and courage. I recommend seeking the Lord for direction and comfort in your initial moments here.
Especially since, in these beginning days, family and friends will want to comfort and console. Sometimes this
means they will speak ill of the lost love. Gently remind them that for now, that will not help your healing process.
Instead, ask them to offer you compassionate acceptance.

At times, the pain will be gut-wrenching. The loss of having that person beside you in life is enough to set anyone
back. In these beginning moments, you are bound to feel disoriented, making some moments feel like a lifetime.
However, as we press forward, hour by hour, we are sure to find strength. The key is to remember who we are and
whose we are. We are God’s beloved.

We were not meant to live in a constant state of turmoil. We are all destined for greatness. If no one has verbalized
that to you, let me be the first. We are part of a bigger plan, a plan for good. Continue to press forward. You won’t
regret it. It may take you longer to accept the loss of the relationship. And that’s okay.

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