Page 37 - #LoveWarrior

— Step 2 —
Rediscover all things you

Depending on how you handled yourself in the relationship, this next step may be a very liberating one. In this step,
make yourself a top priority. You may have experienced your own identity fade away in your last or current
relationship as you became completely blended with the other person. Take the time to write out who you are.
Describe to yourself whose you are, what your calling is, and what emotions you enjoy evoking in others. Outline
what you like offering those around you, whether that be family, friends, colleagues or even strangers. This will be
helpful as you walk forward in your new life and will most certainly give you the boost of confidence needed to not
only act as an encourager to others, but will also give you a spirit of hope as you continue in the world of love and
relationships. I pray the idea of sharing your life with someone is an exciting one. Make a note at this stage for
yourself in the future: remember ‘This is who I am.' Hold onto that as it will remind you to always soak in your
singleness first and then soak in the joys of your togetherness.

Next, in this step, fill your personal schedule with everything and anything that makes you come alive. That may be
time just to yourself, social festivities, working, study groups, the gym, volunteering, or a hobby – anything for
which you have passion. Encourage your heart to dream big, to discover new things about yourself, to take new
chances, and to seek ways to conquer different fears. Make it a point to enjoy learning new things about yourself.
Nothing is too small to embrace. Something as simple as discovering what kind of coffee you prefer will give you
new insights into all things you. Sometimes, major changes, such as going for a whole new career, are needed as
well.

Conquering fear in every area of your life will become a crucial part of this step. You may notice that with each
painful experience in your life, the inclination is to run and stay within your comfort zone. If that is the case, that is
okay for now; however, you will not experience healing until you run out of your comfort zone. We are all guilty of
it. Understanding why will help you move past that. We tend to run from the unknown when we are fearful of the
numerous possibilities for pain. But fear isn’t a part of our design, nor is it something to allow into our hearts.
Strength and courage are at the core of who we are. The second step in your healing process will continue to confirm
this. You will discover what you are made of through each trial that comes. Finally, you will discover your true
design — that you are someone who has what it takes to love with every part of your being, with every ounce of
energy and devotion.

— Step 3 —
Let Go

Forgiveness
Regardless of if there was or wasn't a severe violation, such as infidelity, physical or verbal abuse, substance abuse,
or it was simply a compatibility issue, each breakup will require some level of forgiveness. If there was no wrongful
act involved in the breakup, you might still need to forgive yourself. Maybe you entered the relationship knowing it
was not right. Maybe you need to forgive yourself for staying in a relationship that forced you to act outside your
desired character. Maybe you need to forgive yourself for how you treated them along the way or in a particular
situation. Maybe you need to forgive them for pushing you into things you wouldn’t have otherwise. Maybe you
need to forgive yourself for not remaining yourself throughout the relationship. Maybe you need to ask for
forgiveness for attempting to strip them of their own identity while a couple. One or all, whatever the case may be,
take the time to honor your heart in the situation and forgive.

If there was a wrongful act involved in the breakup, for most of us, the desire for justice is a natural one. We want
them to feel the same amount of pain we felt as a result of their actions – or lack thereof. But what if we went about
it differently than what our feelings told us? In his book What’s So Amazing about Grace, author Philip Yancey
slowly walks us through what true grace looks like and what it does not look like. He also guides us through all that

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