Page 39 - #LoveWarrior

there – including his girlfriend – they would only be able to describe it as innocent, even righteous. We stayed on
topic, answered one another's questions, listened, reflected, and absorbed the truth. We remained at a healthy
distance and only responded to the other physically with short hugs hello and goodbye. In the hours that followed
our meeting, we both felt an overwhelming amount of peace. The goal of the meeting – to respectfully close the
door on our romance – was achieved. For me, it went a step further. I was able to bring him good. I allowed him to
finally let go, really let go, something I had not allowed him to do until this meeting.

The success of this experience was only possible because both of us were acting from healthy, honorable, and
cautious hearts. It took two healthy people on a mission. That being said, I do not recommend attempting such a
meeting when one or both persons have not grown. I have walked into situations like that as well, thinking, I have
grown. It will all be A-okay. I'm safe. I'll be able to control the conversation or interaction. Wrong! That is pure
foolishness, not to mention horribly damaging and harmful.

Data Collection
Similar to anything in life, the timing around letting go is crucial. I have found that to be ready to let go we have to
have collected enough raw data. Meaning, we have observed truth, reflected on patterns, and evaluated character.
This does not mean judging. This means observing. Ironically, this takes time. This takes intentionality, intuition,
and strength. Then, once you've collected enough of the facts, the hard part begins. The decision to stay and fight or
the decision to leave and let go. Loving someone unconditionally can mean taking either path. It all depends on the
situation. This is where your intuition comes into place. Remember to listen to your internal voice. Keep in mind,
conflict, and confusion are not truth. Letting go does not have to mean giving up, it means you've handed the
precious package to the One truly equipped for the task. It means understanding and applying this truth: The Lord
promises to be near them too, always. There’s nothing He won’t do to chase after them as well. Trust in that. Rest in
that.

It's a sign of strength to let go, and in some cases, it can be an act of obedience to let go. However, know that the act
of obedience will not be an easy one. Even with the following data collection and analysis, letting go will require
your full intentionality. But remember, you've learned a lot already, and that is something about which to be excited.

Data collection will demand your strength. It will take time and patience – with yourself and with others. Let me
forewarn you – gathering data will require a thick skin, as you will uncover painful truths. They may hurt in the
immediate moment, but in the long run, they are essential to your healing.

Let’s look at some examples of data. In this section, we will outline a number of possible raw facts in two very
different hypothetical relationships and then prepare to interpret them.

Raw Data
Positive:
● Two individually healthy people.
● Both had the same core set of values.
● A friendship was established first and then a romantic relationship.
● Patience, kindness, grace, and forgiveness were always made a priority.
● A genuine enjoyment of one another’s company was present.
● Both people shared the same level of determination and motivation.
● An agreed-upon set of expectations surrounding the relationship was established as well as lived out.
● Open, concise, and mature communication was a part of every interaction.
● Each person meant what they said and followed through on their words in their actions.
● Conflict resolution was applied when necessary.
● Faithfulness was maintained – emotionally and physically.
● Respect was earned and maintained.
● The relationship was not rushed, allowing time to tell true intentions and character.

39