Page 49 - #LoveWarrior

Verbal Abuse
Physical and verbal abuse go hand in hand. Very rarely is one present without the other. The effects of verbal abuse
are more difficult to pinpoint, as there are no physical signs of assault. The wounds run internal and deep. These can
go unnoticed or suppressed for years. Verbal abuse can come in subtle, passive-aggressive comments as well as
blatant personal attacks on someone's character. Healing comes in the form of rejecting and responding – rejecting
future abuse and responding quickly with intentionality. Deciding that future abuse is not an option will ensure the
cycle is really broken. Once our minds get on the same wavelength as our hearts, our bodies are the next to follow.
Responding with action and intention will lead you to true healing, healing that will last. Take action by taking back
control of what and who comes into your life and stays in it. Seek help, read, and invest in all things strengthening
you. Empowerment will come from choosing life, and choosing life is exactly what must come in order to heal from
verbal abuse.

Spiritual Abuse
Christianese, or terms heavily influenced by the different translations of the Bible, have been used to harm both
believers and nonbelievers. The effect of this abuse can be difficult to name as well as difficult to spot. These attacks
can come directly from other Christians or from the pulpit at the church. It's no wonder so many non-believers have
poor opinions of Christians. As a strong believer, I stand before all people with a heavy heart regarding this. Without
a doubt, we have legalistic, judgmental Christians harming those around them with their sharp words of disapproval
and condemnation.

To these persons, let me speak directly to you for a moment. Let me be clear – I believe in the mission of the Church
and the Body of Christ to bring the good news of Jesus. But, the issue lies in the delivery. There is a fine line
between healthy conviction and damaging condemnation. One is from the Lord, and one is from the enemy. I
believe sin separates us from our Savior, and therefore a reason for people to change. However, the heart of Jesus –
which should always be at the center of our mission – is one of transformation and love. I believe healthy conviction
leads to a gentle inner pull to act in a situation differently than we have in the past. This is where we are able to put
forth the effort to alter the opposing behavior. However, condemnation – meaning inflicting a spirit of shame on a
person – is a tool of the enemy, used to wedge distance between man and God, assaulting a person's character and
identity.

Using scripture against someone (usually out of context) is spiritual abuse. Period. It is not okay. You have crossed
the line of loving to judgmental. Besides being a victim of this myself, I have witnessed many of my loved ones
harmed as well. And I'm done. Being a Christian is NOT memorizing scripture just to use it against someone or —
confuse them. It is NOT raising your eyebrow toward the woman four pews over in church (making her feel unloved
and unwelcome). It is NOT condemning young men who are under your leadership, only to lead them away from the
faith.

Author and senior Pastor of Hillsong Church says it perfectly, “The consequences of this are that time and time
again we have seen these young people — who were once grounded and planted in church — end up hating God and
despising every form of organized religion” (Live Love Lead, pg. 48).

Again, let me reiterate: There is a very fine line between conviction and condemnation. One is of the Lord and
righteous, and the other is a direct tool of the enemy used to assault God’s children. Be aware of how you are
coming across to those around you. Your words and your tone can mean victory for the enemy as he pushes
someone away from the Lord, or they can love on someone and bring someone back to Christ.

Be careful, be intentional. Remember, we are all saved by grace, not by works. The same blameless lamb that saved
you saved me, a sinner. Please, remove your nose from the clouds; we are all God's children. He loves us all. No
matter how far away we stray, He comes after us. His heart beats for the collection and protection of every single
one of us. His kindness leads to personal repentance which leads to freedom. Are you free? Are you creating a space
for others to pursue freedom?

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