Page 50 - #LoveWarrior

The last thing I’d like to mention in regards to spiritual abuse rests on the use of the knowledge we acquire.
Remember, when speaking to anyone – believers or nonbelievers – we are instructed to not harm them with
comments or instruction outside their current realm of understanding. Each person deserves the same amount of
personal attention from God that you experienced. If you have come to a revelation because of your own
experiences, don’t rob someone of their personal journey. But instead, love them. Handle them with care. Lift them
up in prayer. When you bring them to the Lord, ask for the gift of discernment and wisdom to be bestowed on them.
That’s your role as a brother or a sister in Christ; not to overwhelm them with an extensive amount of
incomprehensible knowledge. Frances Chan elaborates on this as he speaks to us on the teachings of Paul the
Apostle in 1 Corinthians 8:

In Verse 11, Paul says, “And so by your knowledge this weak person is destroyed, the brother for whom
Christ died.” With your knowledge, you are hurting your brother for whom Christ died. Wow. And if that’s not
enough, he says in verse 12, “Thus, sinning against your brothers and wounding their conscience when it is weak,
you sin against Christ.” Such unloving use of knowledge against a fellow Christian amounts to sin against Jesus
himself!” (Thinking. Loving. Doing.; Think Hard, Stay Humble: The Life of the Mind and the Peril of Pride, Francis
Chan, Chapter 5, Pg. 103)

Spiritual Infidelity
The first time I heard spiritual infidelity I was sure I heard wrong. Spiritual infidelity? What does that even mean?
Breaking down the separate definitions, here’s what I got: Spiritual cheating. But on who I thought? Then it clicked
– being unfaithful to the Lord and our walk with Him. That’s what it means! As I began to unravel this further I
realized I had been spiritually unfaithful for a good portion of my life as a believer. Most of us have heard the phrase
“God is a gentleman, He won’t force you to follow Him” or “God isn’t interested in prisoners.” Having heard these
multiple times, I am now confident I grazed over their meaning. Whereas the common understanding of these
phrases are still very accurate, there’s a truth below the surface I know at least I missed. That truth is this: if we are
not intentional in staying faithful to the Lord daily, we run the risk of picking up a number of “mistresses” along the
way. I’m not referring to the ones most of us are aware of: idols in the form of money, materialistic items,
promotions, men, women or even non-romantic relationships, but instead, I’m referring to the uncommon ones, the
ones much harder to spot.

I’m not saying I haven’t also struggled with most of the above, I have, but the spiritual infidelity I’d like to discuss
is not what we’ve placed in the Lord’s spot but why.

Since were calling out common understandings, I know most of us have heard a variety of sermons on fear. Whether
you’ve heard F.E.A.R = False evidence appearing real or you’ve been quoted fifteen scriptures on how to avoid fear,
you’re at the same spot I was when I first discovered spiritual infidelity. But as I dug deeper to the core of the
infidelity I found everyone I spoke to had a similar understanding of why they become spiritually unfaithful to the
Lord: a number of misunderstandings and conclusions of who we are in relationship with. God is this, God is that,
He is not this, He is not that. Jesus is not this, not that, but this. The Holy Spirit is this, He is that, He does not to
this, but He only does blank. As we get closer and closer to the Lord we begin to learn more about His heart. We
begin to see past His wrath, even past His grace and mercy and begin to see who He is, not just what He is and isn’t
about. You see, each time we accept a misunderstanding or incorrect conclusion about God we are altering our why
we are in the relationship and therefore running the risk of picking up a mistress — or two.

Healing from this self-abuse comes in the form of rejecting and responding – rejecting future self-abuse and
responding consistently with intentionality. Daily, hourly, be aware if God is getting cheated on in your life and
heart.

Drug abuse
As much as I had “protected” myself from all things drug-related, I still couldn't escape it. I found myself in the
middle of someone else's storm. Unaware of the torment he was under for months, I spent months experiencing the
overspray of his actions – sleepless nights, paranoid accusations (false), constant fighting, and damaging decisions.
At one point, it had gotten so out of hand that we found ourselves before a judge. To give you an idea of how painful
those months were – explaining our actions in a court of law was a high point.

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