Page 51 - #LoveWarrior

I remember for months thinking, I can help him. I can get him to choose life. I can love him past the pain; together,
we will beat this. But the reality was, as much as I thought I was helping, I was really making it worse. He had to
choose life for himself. No one could make that choice for him, and certainly, no one could lead him to that
decision. For me, healing came from recognizing this. I saw myself being pulled underwater with him,
unrecognizable, gasping for air. I knew the end of the story if I were to stay – one or both of us would lose our lives
– either literally or otherwise.

Finally, with the support of those around me, I decided to do the one thing that would really help – walk away. I'm
proud to announce he is now free of the bondage of drugs. Finding enjoyment in surfing, he says, "Surfing saved my
life." What a story of redemption.

Healing comes in the form of rejecting and responding – rejecting future abuse and responding quickly with
intentionality. Deciding that future abuse is not an option will ensure the cycle is really broken. Once our minds get
on the same wavelength as our hearts, our bodies are the next to follow. Responding with action and intention will
lead you to true healing, healing that will last. Take action by taking back control of what and who comes into your
life and stays in it. Seek help, read, and invest in all things strengthening you. Empowerment will come from
choosing life, and choosing life is precisely what must come in order to heal from being involved with someone – or
even the person — battling a drug addiction.

Alcohol Abuse
For everyone who has found themselves involved with an alcoholic or is an alcoholic themselves, you are familiar
with the tragedies the addiction brings. Regardless of which side you're on, the horror of the story is there. My first
experience with alcoholism was at the hand of a friend I had met in college. He was the leader of many men's
groups, a star athlete at the college, and someone everyone knew – and looked up to. A young Christian man, he
struggled with alcohol, and it had paralyzed him for years. Our friendship found him at my doorstep one night,
completely hammered. With a gallon jug of whiskey in his hand (basically empty), he stumbled into my house. My
heart broke when I saw him like this. But I knew I couldn't add to the problem or enable him more, so what I did
next was not easy. I waited with him until he sobered up and drove him back to his car. Once we got there, I gave
him a hug and said, “I want you in my life, but I cannot be in your life with you like this.” I turned around and drove
away. I had to let him go. And I knew it. I am happy to report he is now happily married to a wonderful woman and
they have a beautiful baby boy. Additionally, from my understanding, alcoholism is no longer a destructive force in
his life.

My experience with an alcoholic is just one of the millions out there. A happily married woman reminisces on her
past experience with loving someone who struggled with alcoholism:

I remember feeling like I was with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. When he was sober, he was my soulmate.
When he was drunk, his eyes would change, and he would be a monster. My friend forced me to listen to
the song from Evanescence, "Call Me When You're Sober." The singer sang it about her alcoholic ex. I
remember begging God to please heal him. I didn't understand the addiction at this time of my life, how
hard it is to just stop. Nursing saved me from this, as I chose to follow my dream. I moved away and
focused on me. In my heart, I knew this would be the end of us, but in my head, I thought long distance
could work. It was a struggle during and after the relationship. Who would take care of him, I thought
when he passes out outside or pisses everywhere in the house? I look back now and feel sorry for the young
woman I was back then, not understanding the cause and effects of alcoholism. There always was a
painting I wanted to paint at that time in my life. I felt like I was in battle. I felt like, in my painting, he had
fallen into a dark cavern full of alcohol bottles with chains attached to his legs, dragging him down, his
demons floating around down there. I was at the top, holding onto his hand for dear life, but in the end, he
was dragging me down too, I was not strong enough!

As I re-read this, I know stories like these don't end here; millions of people have one just like it. Male or female. I
found that both parties must choose life. No one can decide this for us. Whether you're walking away from the bottle
or walking away from the person until they seek healing, inner strength is required.

51