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the harsh, cold statement that he had come into work one day “bragging” about the particulars of their sexual
encounters thus far.

From here, I went into battle with the Lord in prayer. I put all my energy into bringing it to the Lord's feet, lifting
him up while lifting my broken heart up to our loving Father. I asked God to remove the painful visions of them
together I still get, that haunt me. I ask God to comfort me, to be forever near me and remind me, It's all going to be
okay. I read, re-read, and repeat His word to myself: “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD,
‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future’” (Jeremiah 29:11). I'm reminded to
take every thought captive and remain in truth – that what the enemy planned for evil, our God will use for good.

This experience is where I learned the full extent of what the enemy is capable of accomplishing if we are not
careful. He loves betrayal and devastation. He loves to see no survivors. He seeks to destroy our relationships –
using our own vices. This is why we must remain committed to staying alert, grounded in our faith, ensuring we are
wearing the full armor of God – every day.

You see, the enemy knew this man and I were both familiar with scripture, but not rooted in it. Had he been, he
would have remained strong and practiced self-control; either not subjecting himself (and us) to such a situation in
the first place or removing himself from the compromising environment. And I – I would have been able to spot his
doublemindedness (James 1:8). I would have been able to see that because of his actions (and lack thereof) I was
acting outside of my desired character; expressing mostly frustration, anger, pain and unforgiveness. I would have
been able to see that his proud statements of acting in patience were merely a result of the aftermath of his own
actions and not at all something to put on me. His foolishness and complete disregard for the influence of others
onto him proved to be where the enemy saw an opening to plot against us. And he won. A possible power-couple
was torn apart because of a lack of obedience. We have all heard the saying, if you don't stand for something, you'll
fall for anything. That was proven correct here. He was a man everyone loved to be around, a man whom people fed
off his energy and goofiness, but a man who didn't realize that in each situation he acted as the entertainment to
others and the "life of the party," the true-life was being sucked out of him. He was being drained of his calling.

Healing comes in the form of rejecting and responding – rejecting future betrayal and responding quickly with
intentionality. Love certainly is one of the most powerful forces on earth, but so is hate. Righteous anger toward
what transpired is honorable. Months, years, down the road, you'll appreciate your husband or wife that much more
because someone before them displayed all that surrounds brokenness. But instead, remains committed to you, also,
ferociously protective over your heart. Do not make that person pay for someone else's mistake. Be aware of your
past wound, but always remember what you've learned and how you've healed from it. Remain conscious of the state
of your heart. Being self-aware will empower you to remain ever-growing in your Romantic Intelligence. And
remember, love is not a reason to tolerate disrespect.

In the appendix, I have included a study I conducted regarding healing from infidelity. I pray it gives you the same
clarity, understanding, comfort, and healing it did me.

Revenge
The desire for revenge is a natural part of the grieving process. After being wronged, the craving for vengeance is —
on the contrary to what most think — a righteous one. There are multiple examples in the Bible where God gets
angry too. Examples where He exposes His nature to right a wrong against His Kingdom or against His beloved
(remember, that’s us – you, me). But here’s the key: that’s His role, our role is to acknowledge and understand why
we are feeling the emotions. Then from there, we need to release it to God and let Him handle things with that
person. So, together, let’s practice our part. Let’s list a few reasons why we feel such a strong urge for revenge:

• Justice, to even the score
• To ensure someone else doesn’t experience what we did
• Hatred toward the act
• Overwhelming pain
• Chanel the emotions toward action

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