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understandable only to the initiated-containing discussions of the nature of God, the origin and structure of the universe, the nature of souls, redemption, the relationship of Ego to Darkness and "true self" to "The Light of God," and the relationship between the "universal energy" and Mammon. Something that was a closed chapter to her, as one needed to study other texts that taught, how to properly approach the text in the Zohar - she said. All this was fascinating really and showed a degree of awareness and also that I had to do with a young woman, who was spiritually much further advanced than me, as she spoke without lecturing and mission, more out of curiosity and from a critical distance.
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One evening I invite Lian for dinner and we go to a cosy, fashionable restaurant in Kensington. She orders Salmon on Lentils and drinks white wine. The atmosphere is elevated and soon she speaks the first time about her life and her experiences. Se tells me that it is a Mexican man, who once (that could not have been long ago - I think) broke her heart and threw it away — so she said — what a bastard! She comes from a divorced family — just as me. Her father is a Mexican Non Jew and her mother from Israel. So after the divorce she went with her mother to Israel. Then she carries on: She had served in the Israeli army and spent 7 days in the desert, without washing facilities, some water and Tuna from tin boxes as nourishment. There she learned compassion, she says. She has an apartment in a Kibbutz and from time to time they had to seek shelter from shelling. After all this experience she really feels not her age and looks at women at her age as if they were teenagers.
Sometime, she tells me she goes back to Mexico to see her grandmother as she has developed cancer. My god - I think what an agenda, what woman! But what really knocks me over that evening is her remark - I have forgotten the context - that she would be ready to die for a good purpose, if from a catastrophe better people would emerge, as the world cannot go on as it is now.
It is in the hidden Scripts - she says. We were given two thousand years to sort things out and the time is up she says - says this without being in the slightest coquettish or pretentious and I have no doubt that she means what she says, as it seems to come from her soul. What a statement for a 23 year old. I am flabbergasted.
The dinner passes in a most agreeable way and we go home. I refrain from making a pass on her - that would have been out of place I feel. So we go home to the apartment in a light mood. Back in my room I cannot sleep. For a long time I sit on the bed lost in thought.
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