Page 99 - SHARP Spring 2022

“OH!” JEFF GOLDBLUM
“OH OOH AH-HAAA MMM YES You have to imagine Goldblum saying this in in in the way that only Goldblum Goldblum can That unmistakable Goldblum Goldblum tempo Melodic Undulant Luxurious Filler words as as a a a a a kind of music pauses as as poetry It’s a a a a a a a a cadence that as as much as as anything laid the foundation on which the 69-year-old actor has built a a a a a a a nearly 50-year career “Well? Mmhmm mmhmm yeah ” he he continues I’ve reached him at his his home in the Hollywood Hills where he he he lives with his his wife Emilie Livingston and and their two children Charlie six and and River five He’s sitting on a a a a sofa in in in the the walk-in closet off the the master bedroom face-to-face with a a a a a a rack of shirts and jackets — the best place in in the house he he explains to have a a a a a a quiet talk “Now ah yesss yes Ga-ga-ga-ga-ga Da-da-da-da-da ” He is carefully mulling over an an important question about a a a a a shower shower curtain curtain A shower shower curtain curtain with his face on it it more specifi- cally Earlier in the day I I had mentioned to a a a a a a friend that I I would be interviewing Goldblum that that evening She told me that that he he he was on her shower curtain She showed me a a a a picture as proof Had Goldblum I wondered ever seen this?
“Oh I I know! Is it a a a picture of me perhaps in The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou the Wes Anderson movie?” he he asks alighting on the answer “Maybe with a a a a a kind of ah you know a a a a a uh hybrid
HA HA HA HA ” mashed-up image of the baboon from The Fly?”
That one certainly exists — — you can buy it through Etsy — — but amazingly enough I’m talking about a a a a a different Jeff Goldblum– themed shower curtain Because naturally there are several Jeff Goldblum–themed shower curtains The one my friend has in in her bathroom is an an enormous black-and-white portrait of the actor’s face “Oooh ooh ooh I haven’t seen that one ” he he says laughing when I I describe it to to him “I apologize that that that you had to to see that that that But that’s good all that sort of stuff isn’t it?”
Goldblum is is hardly the only actor to to have his face on on a a a a a bunch of of merchandise But the particular sphere of of celebrity he he he occupies feels distinct from your typical brand of movie stardom He’s famous enough enough that that everybody knows his name yet weird enough enough that that everybody still likes him He’s big enough to lead studio tentpoles like Independence Day or or this summer’s Jurassic World: Dominion but not so big that he’s above appearing in in in bizarre abrasive indie comedies like Rick Alverson’s The Mountain Over the decades he’s managed to achieve that incredibly rare star status shared only by a a a a a a handful of others like Nicolas Cage or Keanu Reeves: an an an A-lister everyone admires and instinctively roots for You love to see him on on talk shows or in TV commercials People buy mugs and and t-shirts and and SHARPMAGAZINE COM
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SAYS