Page 148 - The Houseguest

heal. I can no longer cry tears for the years have consumed them all. The hunger for your mere presence has been unbearable. Whenever I dream about you, about the three of us, I plead with God and the universe that I shall never wake again. If only I could turn back time, I’d forfeit my own life to change our story.
But I cannot turn back time, nor change the fate that has befallen us. And now my mind has journeyed down the only route it understood. Perhaps I am insane, but I have not arrived here by choice.
I know you have been to visit, and that I must now explain my actions to you. Sweetheart, it seems as though the many emotions I’ve felt since you losing you have lost their individuality. The well-defined boundaries that once separated the anger, fear, devastation and sorrow have faded, leaving my feelings to blend into one another. Each strong, passionate and untamable emotion has united to become one - - one emotion comprised of all others -- one emotion that now controls my every thought and action -- one emotion that I cannot, even if I wanted to, stop.
I need Ravenge...revenge against Rachel. I am sorry if this has upset you, but I am not as strong a man as you believed me to be. They say revenge is a dish best served cold. But time has only made the urge stronger for me, so intense now that I have relinquished all control. This is where I am, and there is no turning back.
Maybe penning my thoughts to a poet would be more effective in a succinct poem:
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The Houseguest by Linda Ellis www.LindaEllis.life