Page 137 - Total War on PTSD_FINAL
P. 137
would transition into stints of adrenaline-fueled anxiety) was driving me crazy. Coming back from deployment I did not have my support system (my platoon) anymore. They were transferred to other bases or had their own lives and families to tend to. And by 2014, I started to think about suicide myself. I even attempted suicide on multiple occasions.
After the last failed attempt (while in the military) I decided that I needed to get out of my current environment and start all over. I transferred to Ft. Knox, KY to become a medical recruiting officer. The geographical change did not make things better, it only made things worse. My loneliness and depression intensified, and my alcohol and drug use took off. I was drinking and using just to get through the day (not just to go to bed at night). This is where my “solution” soon became a bigger problem than my emotional distress. Luckily, I was admitted into a 30-day program at Ft. Knox-Lincoln Trail Behavioral Health facility. This is when I truly knew I needed help, but I also knew that mood stabilizers and sleep meds were just another short-term fix (just like my previous misuse of alcohol and drugs). I was discharged from the Army under Honorable conditions in November of 2016. And shortly after, I was back to using and abusing drugs and alcohol because by that time it was my solution to everything.
I was truly ready to die, and I welcomed it. Luckily a friend reached out and got me into a treatment facility located out of Ft. Lauderdale, Florida and this is when I first found Yoga and meditation. I knew that I had found a new passion and a new solution. My new goal in life was to help other Veterans who were struggling. After treatment, I was homeless/living in a halfway house, with no bank account and desperate for someone to take a chance on me! That is when I reached out to Judy Weaver and Connected
137 of 837