Page 497 - Total War on PTSD_FINAL

As I sat there, I could feel my blood pressure rising as distant memories rushed to the front of my mind. I fought the return of the memories, but it was as if they were dying to escape the secret cave where they had been hiding.
When I was a child, for many years, I was sexually molested by my cousin. This is a secret I had kept from everyone, including my own wife. I had dealt with it. I was over it. I couldn’t change it, so what was the point in reliving those dark moments? I simply stuffed it and moved on. Following this molestation, I in turn began to sexually abuse other members of my family. My sexual appetite grew out of control.
I began to wonder if perhaps I was gay. But I didn’t think I was. I would try to get the attention of girls at school, but they didn’t seem to notice me. Maybe I wasn’t a real man?
I began to search for ways to prove my “manhood” to everyone around me. It is this search that led me into the Army recruiting station. I figured, if I join the Army and fight bad guys, surely that will make me a real man and prove to the world I have what it takes.
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