Page 18 - Total War on PTSD
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civilian job environment. The main reason for this is that I felt that they just didn’t understand. They didn’t understand the environment I was in...the brother and sisterhood I experienced in the military and...especially so...in a joint service, war zone environment. They didn’t know what the symptoms were that I was experiencing. They didn’t understand my triggers...or why I couldn’t sleep at night...or why I was always shaky. And, at the time, I was so lost I didn’t understand that I was part of the problem...because I wouldn’t let them in...because I had trouble with both trust and communication. That caused me to create an environment where I isolated myself, both at work and at home, in order to control not only my environment, but my triggers. I resented the situation I was in, but couldn’t help it...this was necessary to survive.
That kind of deep disappointment and resentment may not be founded in fact, but it’s generated by the increments of battle related shocks that don’t leave an outer scar but surely do create our ongoing, reality which can include seemingly unmotivated anger, hyper-vigilance and nightmares, among a myriad of other issues. An even more prevalent, if not new, issue, is the epidemic of suicides — something that must be addressed and changed, from the homeless Veteran living on the street to the highest governmental seat, as our lives literally depend on it. This is baseline knowledge about PTSD. I hope that it helps with understanding, between Veterans and family members, between the general public and Veterans, and even between one Veteran and another, how we also have to deal with PTSD, anxiety, fight-or-flight, panic attacks, insomnia, and even trust related issues.
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