Page 232 - Total War on PTSD

“Intimacy is not a happy medium. It is a way of being in which the tension between distance and closeness is dissolved and a new horizon appears. Intimacy is beyond fear.” - Henri Nouwen
Courtenay: Having to be separate from family, friends and significant others, for any length of time, can be difficult. This is especially so when stressors are added on top of separation; especially when it includes things like danger to yourself or others, an extended period of separation, a combat environment, and many other similar reasons.
Returning home to an ‘intimate’ relationship may not always be as easy as you figured it would be. You may find that life continued on without you and that your family was able to cope and figure things out in your absence. In some cases, they may resent your trying to reassert yourself in areas they became proficient in. In all situations, you have to remember to just give things time...and just slow down a little.
Sometimes it can seem like you are figuring each other out all over again...but that’s okay. For my husband and I, it took a while to be able to re-adjust and, admiringly, our relationship sometimes still takes some effort when we drive ourselves into our own little ruts of self-habit that don’t include each other.
The same goes with my relationships with my family members. It’s so important to remember that everything worth doing takes time and is well worth the effort, however hard it might be. All you have to do is open the door of your trust to others. It is up to others whether or not they want to walk through it.
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