Page 303 - Total War on PTSD

“Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. The frequent attempt to conceal mental pain increase the burden: It is easier to say ‘My tooth is aching’ than to say ‘My heart is broken’.” - C. S. Lewis
Courtenay: Given the circumstances of my own medical issues, I ended up medically retiring from both the Navy and my former Federal position. However, prior to my departure from both, my concern was whether or not I would be able to retain my security clearance or not...because that would determine whether or not I would retain my rank and position in both the Federal job and my job in the Navy Reserve when I rotated back off of Active Duty.
As it turned out, I was medically retired at a level that allowed for me to not have to worry about having to return to either position...and in the condition I was, I couldn’t anyway...hence the retirement. I was determined by the VA to be 100% disabled and eventually was rated under permanent and total status.
My neurological issues and damage sustained while I was still in the service, much like TBI damage sustained by others, is also damage that will never improve or go away...at least not in any way that I am currently aware of.
I have brain lesions. I will just have to learn to live with that particular aspect of the issues I have...and deal with it the best I can because it is a part of my life that isn’t going to change no matter how much I wish it would.
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