Page 668 - Total War on PTSD

when my life was in their hands. I refused to get a Family Care Plan for my youngest child and that led to my separation.
My grandfather had passed away from cancer around this time, and I inherited some of his tools from his boat work-shop. I started putting them to use while returning to work as a physical trainer at a local gym. I jumped from job to job until I landed in security contracting. The money was great, but I wasn’t healing, and, in many ways, I was just running from the deeper issues. In between trips overseas I would continue to hone my skills as a tradesman and continue growing my reputation in my area.
It wasn’t until I attended a retreat that I started healing. I started to see woodworking as a conduit through which I could stay busy, as well as give me time to meditate and work through the war scars in my head.
I think for many of us, being in the military becomes our purpose. It shapes who we are and how we react to everything around us. After service we lose that purpose and guidance and don’t know how to channel the things we’ve learned into skills that help us succeed in the civilian world. We feel dirty for the things we’ve had to do and see, and sometimes we can’t get those images out of our heads. When you’re still serving you have guys around you to distract you from that noise, but when you are by yourself in your apartment, and don’t have the interaction of like-minded individuals to distract you from those, you are forced to start healing or start running. Many run to a bottle of beer, or their drug of choice. This path most usually leads to destruction of their mind further,
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