Page 733 - Total War on PTSD

assault I felt isolated, cheated, embarrassed, scared and experienced many emotions that I carried with me for many years afterwards. I built very strong exterior and interior walls, impenetrable and very tough. I struggled with pain and anger which I funneled into a becoming a very strong and tough woman. Because I had a child, I became fierce and very closed off as a protector of my child.
After many years of struggling, I went to the VA for treatment of my headaches, which had plagued me ever since the assault. They were so severe that I often felt like I was going to die. I did not understand survivors' guilt or PTSD and did not know that I had a Traumatic Brain Injury. The VA has been very supportive, and my treatments have saved my brain and my body. All VAs are not alike. I have traveled all over the U.S. and have been to many VA hospitals and clinics. The VA here in Albuquerque is wonderful and focuses on the total treatment of body, mind and soul. They offer resources such as holistic treatment, meditation, yoga, art and water sports, among many others.
I was also suffering from agoraphobia and yet had found my own way, through working with animals, to turn all those harmful emotions into something positive and meaningful. Animals saved me. Dogs and horses became my way to survive. If not for them I don’t know if I would be here today.
I have been diagnosed with PTSD. In some ways this diagnosis has given me a different way to survive. I have learned to channel many of the very terrifying side-effects of PTSD into my work with animals. I would never want anyone to see me in my vulnerable state, so the strong exterior I present is often a very thin shell or an impenetrable one. Do I wish things were
733 of 1042