Page 986 - Total War on PTSD
P. 986

 “Some of my best leading men have been dogs and horses.” - Elizabeth Taylor
Courtenay: Steve often deals with issues relating to his TBI as well as migraines and nightmares, to name a few. He was exposed to multiple IED attacks and completed 22 separate missions during his deployments.
For me Kandahar Airfield in Afghanistan seemed to be a very busy hub for flights in and out of the country as well as to other areas in country. When I was there, I would hear every single emergency vehicle including police, ambulance, fire engines, and air operations for planes and helicopters. Now, every time I watch anything on television (news, certain shows or movies) or am around things, people or sounds and situations that can trigger me, my anxiety and stress response goes up very quickly.
Once I got back home to Indiana sleep was still very much an issue, as I often lay awake at night staring at the ceiling, am often awakened feeling like I can’t breathe (gasping for air), and have nightmares in which I see lots of blood and dead or injured people. I can't explain why because I didn't see this sort of thing while I was there, I only read about it. I also continued thinking about the frequent missile attacks, and the small arms fire from outside the base. The pounding was erratic but I knew it came from a box truck ahead of us, close to the store entrance. I didn't know what was making the loud crunching sound until I got closer. The vibration of the truck's engine reached out to me, and I just wanted to run. The sound got louder, wrapping my body in layers of tension as each subsequent bag was dropped on the truck floor with an additional crunching sound. I tried to control my temper and reaction...saying over and over again under my breath, "Please stop, please stop, please stop.” Knowing where the sound came from didn't lessen my reaction; rather, it made my temper flare even more since I thought that the driver should have known that his actions would likely result in a negative reaction from some people. Rushing towards the grocery store entrance while giving the ice truck a wide berth, I stayed as far away from the noise as I could, walking as quickly as possible and hoped the truck would be gone before I was done shopping. At another time, when I was in Colorado and part of
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