Page 1053 - Total War on PTSD

Every time we ask her if she wants to go to there, she goes crazy and starts barking and running all over the house. It's almost like she's trying to make sure we are getting ready to go. When are walking to the park, I will occasionally let her off her leash so she can run and play a little. She will run up a few feet and then run back to me over and over again...doing that until we reach the end of the little dirt road right before the park. She will then stop and let me put her back on leash. Sasha loves to play with her friends at the dog park and it's her favorite thing to do daily.
When Sasha got home for the first time, she and Duke got into it. Duke won, and ever since then both Duke and Sasha play ball and tug-o-war with each other. They even sleep together. Sasha was the best thing for a Duke as well. Ever since she came into our lives, she turned Duke's life around. Duke is like a little puppy again who wants to play not only with me but also with Sasha. In the past couple of years since getting Sasha she has brought me some great memories of both Duke and Sasha. Even though I know it's only a matter of time for old Duke to go to heaven, I am not ready for it; but having Sasha in my life right now will help ease the pain of losing my best friend of 14 plus years and all the fun times we had.
PTSD isn’t something you get over. You don’t go back to being who you were. It’s more like a nightmarish snow globe. War disturbs your being and your sense of self, and suddenly all those pieces of your life, and even in your dreams, are floating in the air just out of your grasp. You will never come down exactly where you once were. You’re a changed person after combat, not better, and not worse just different. If you are trying to recover the old you that's the worst thing you can do to yourself and your loved ones.
One day at a time is all I can take. I never look for tomorrow because tomorrow may never come in my life. These demons one day will take my life. So with God at one side and Duke and Sasha on the other I have the fighting chance to live another day. Another day to live life to the fullness of what God has for me. The military shaped person I am now. It made me stronger. It made me want to fight for my rights and for my freedom. Duke and Sasha are a vital part of my strength and always will be, whether they are still here or are waiting for me in heaven.
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