Page 714 - Total War on PTSD

liquified and all that was left behind was a sack of meat and fluid. I was instructed to grab the clothes not the body as it was easier to drag to a cleared area.
Do you remember the first time your bravery was tested? The first time you had to look at paralyzing fear in the face. I have stood in front of judges that could tear me away from the comforts of home, I was an adrenaline chasing ATV rider as a kid, but never once had I faced true fear. The fear that will stop you dead in your tracks and cause the whole world to slow around you. The fear that initiates the bio-chemical reaction in your body telling you it’s time to fight or hide. For me it was the first time I heard bullets impact the rock surfaces on the side of a mountain peak. The sound that pierces your ears when those tiny projects slice through the air at thousands of feet per second. I found out fear was no different from any other obstacle you’ll face.
After returning from Afghanistan in early 2005 I started physically preparing to attend Special Forces Assessment and Selection. I went through my only divorce before starting the course and felt I was ready to tackle this mountain of a task. I was selected as a Team Medic and was about to go through two years or more of training. I was missing the fight.
I was dismissed from training near the end of the medic portion. I had made it through the patrol phases, SERE, and some language. I made it through the first six months of the medical course known as Special Operations Combat Medic (SOCM) and was into Special Forces Medical School. I was nearly done with training when I lost focus. I was distracted by a second job I had taken to help pay my bills and child support as a Physical Fitness Coach at a local gym, and my grades were suffering. I started watching my GPA slip from mid 90s to mid 70s. I failed.
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