Page 847 - Total War on PTSD

I was diagnosed with PTSD in the summer of 2008. I did not do much with it until the spring of 2010. I was medicated on Sertraline and saw my prescriber on a regular basis but I was not taking advantage of other resources available to me. I had no one to talk to. At this time I was at UMass Boston working on a Master’s Degree program and, at the end of my first semester, I suffered what turned out to be a massive anxiety attack while on campus. The full effects of it did not hit me until I was on public transportation and was physically paralyzed on my left side and couldn't speak, I had to call 911 and try to tell them where I was to get help. I thought I was dying. Once it was determined that this was an anxiety attack and not something else, I started to calm down but was still transported to Mass General Hospital for evaluation and treatment.
To this day I have never once stepped foot back on UMass Boston Campus due to the intense fear and anxiety that attack had on me and my fear that it may happen again. This opened my eyes to the fact that I needed to take my treatment much more seriously. I participated in Prolonged Exposure at the Home Base Program in Boston and I feel that that was one of the toughest things I have ever done, but it was worth it in the end. I also utilize the Vet Center as well as seeing my prescriber at the VA.
I used to view my PTSD diagnosis as a weakness. Now that I understand it more. I feel much more comfortable dealing with it. It is still not something that I openly talk about but it is also something that I will not avoid discussing if the appropriate situation or conversation arises. I have also realized how much strength it takes to receive the proper treatment and the strength that it takes to ask for help.
I do have a caregiver, my spouse, Allivia. She is VA sponsored. We have been married five years and she has been my caretaker for the past four years. She handles all of my medications,
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