Page 925 - Total War on PTSD

social and from trusting anyone. I got drunk every night. Anger and alcohol got me in trouble more than once. In August of 2009, I moved back to my home state of Indiana.
The military trained me to be a machine, to act and react with a set of muscle memories driven into me through non-stop training. I learned to suppress my emotions and move with a sense of purpose that entrenches the mission comes first. It was drilled into me to move with calculated movements that drive the mission. In my almost 18 years in the Army, I excelled at leading men under my command and taking direction from higher ups. I relied on someone else to give me the direction that I would go. I was trained to Lead, survive in a Combat Zone, suppress emotions and Kill, as well as be proficient in a multitude of skills and assets. The Army taught us to be prepared for the unthinkable and how to act and react to every situation they could. They trained us to be tools of war. When it was time for them to move on from us as individuals, they did not retrain us to be active civilians among non-combatants. So, when I came home, I still have the hyper-alert tendencies I had while “over there”.
I am thankful for the Military training me to have attention for details, organization skills, leadership training, After Action Reports, positive enforcement of having a load plan and have a plan and timeline for excursions. I am still angry at the military for the way I was discarded when they had used me up. I was just another piece of equipment that had to be turned in and decommissioned for excessive wear and tear...damaged. I was diagnosed with a Mild TBI and PTSD by the VA. I was alone and unafraid, of anything. Well, that is what I kept telling myself. I finally felt it was time to seek help from others.
I have been diagnosed with PTSD and mild TBI. I really haven't decided whether I see my PTSD and its related issues as a strength or not. I do believe that being diagnosed with PTSD shows that you have been broken. I have gone through, and continue to get, treatment. Overall,
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