Page 18 - Total War on PTSD

Other military Veterans will nod their heads as they read the next paragraphs. For any family members and civilians reading this, I hope the next words provide some help in understanding what your warfighter is going through because, while there is no single cookie-cutter ‘case’ of PTSD, what I go through is unfortunately typical for many of us.
Months after the official welcome home ceremony and returning to civilian life in the U.S., I began to feel betrayed — by the Navy, by my friends and co-workers who ‘weren't there’ for me when I started experiencing worsening PTSD. I even felt that way in my civilian job environment. The main reason for this is that I felt that they just didn’t understand. They didn’t understand the environment I was in...the brother and sisterhood I experienced in the military and...especially so...in a joint service, war zone environment. They didn’t know what the symptoms were that I was experiencing. They didn’t understand my triggers...or why I couldn’t sleep at night...or why I was always shaky. And, at the time, I was so lost I didn’t understand that I was part of the problem...because I wouldn’t let them in...because I had trouble with both trust and communication. That caused me to create an environment where I isolated myself, both at work and at home, in order to control not only my environment, but my triggers. I resented the situation I was in, but couldn’t help it...this was necessary to survive.
That kind of deep disappointment and resentment may not be founded in fact, but it’s generated by the increments of battle related shocks that don’t leave an outer scar but surely do create our ongoing, reality which can include seemingly unmotivated anger, hyper-vigilance and nightmares, among a myriad of other issues. An even more prevalent, if not new, issue, is the epidemic of suicides — something that must be
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