Page 5 - Florida Sentinel 11-21-17

Editorials/Columns
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A Man Like Her Daddy
oraslongasIcanre-
member I've always heard that women tend to be subconsciously attracted to men who remind them of their fathers. Just as men often develop an affinity for women who remind them of their mothers.
I believe this is mainly due to the fact that our parents, typically, form our initial perceptions of the type of be- havior we should expect from members of the oppo- site sex. Our preferences, likes and dislikes all begin with the two people who gave us life.
But what happens when that female or male child isn't exposed to this fleshed- out masculine or feminine presence from an early age? How does that child, without exposure to a solid proto- type, learn how to choose a suitable mate and develop healthy relationships then?
I imagine that, for a boy, the situation isn't as dire be- cause of the array of female influences he's usually around from birth. If it's not his mother, then there's al- ways an aunt or grand- mother, somewhere in the picture, giving him multiple points of reference while he's constantly schooled on the do's and don'ts that come with dealing with members
of the fairer gender.
For young girls, particu-
larly in the Black commu- nity, I don't know if that kind of tutelage comes as easily. With the dearth of men in most families due to incar- ceration, early death and abandonment, who do these impressionable females turn to for advice and direction about the men they'll en- counter throughout their search for companionship?
I think about their dilemma every time I hear about young women who are involved in abusive relation- ships, have children from deadbeats or who've turned to other women for comfort because they could never find a man who had the ca- pacity to keep it real.
I wonder how much dif- ferent their lives would have been had someone been present from the very begin- ning to reinforce their self- worth and teach them the difference between real men and mere males?
In the absence of a strong father-figure to guide them, is it any wonder why our daughters seem to be so sus- ceptible to the manufactured images of weak masculinity they're force-fed through mass media and social net- works?
Society has programmed
them to be accepting of men who are jobless, homeless and goalless in the hopes that they'll at least have someone to share their beds with every once in a while.
We are quick to criticize her for dating or marrying the wrong guy for the wrong reasons. But who was there to instruct her on what to look for in a potential Mr. Right?
I guess I'm actually speak- ing from the point of view of a father, who wasn't part of the equation, who now has to watch from a distance as his baby girl keeps dealing with men who all seem to have the same "BORN TO LOSE" tat- too inked across their chests.
It was my job to lace her with the knowledge of the multiple games she would come across during her jour- ney through the cesspool called a "dating scene." And, in that regard, I failed miser- ably.
What I've learned through my experience is that it's very easy for us to point out the bad decisions our children make in their personal lives to justify our disappointment with them. But, the fact of the matter is, a lot of those poor decisions are a direct result of us dis- appointing them first by being the worst of role mod- els.
Reality On Ice is © by the Florida Sentinel Bul- letin Publishing Com- pany. You can write to Mr. Barr at: Clarence Barr 43110-018, Oak- daleF.C.I.,P.O.BOX 5000, Oakdale, LA 71463.
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C. Blythe Andrews 1901-1977 (1945)
C. Blythe Andrews, Jr. 1930-2010 (1977)
A Tampa Thanksgiving
hen thinking about Thanksgiving in Tampa de-
spite all of the hell that’s been happening here lately, maybe poet Langston Hughes puts it most aptly. He says, “I’ve been scared and battered . . . My hopes the wind done scattered . . . Snow has friz’ me. Sun has baked me. ‘Looks like between ’em, they done tried to make me . . . stop laughin’, stop lovin’, stop livin’. But I don’t care. I’m still here!”
As we were preparing this editorial, we took time out to canvas fellow- Tampa-Hillsborough neighbors regarding how they felt about having to look over their shoulders as they went about buying Thanksgiving turkeys, collard greens, pie fillings and other things for the joyous feast.
And frankly, we would have put their opinions to print . . .if we could have gotten them to slow down for a moment. But most were too busy to stop and chat. Stores were crowded to capacity. Streets resembled the NASCAR 500, and store parking lots looked like one big tail-gate party.
Indeed, if Tampa’s answer to Jack-the-Ripper was out skulking around hoping to shoot somebody, he might have to stand in line to get waited on. B u t from a far different perspective, such does not mean our city isn’t watching out the corner of its eyes. Local Law Enforcement is on high alert while the FBI has stepped into the fray involving a tall, Grinch-like char- acter who seems intent to steal this City’s joy.
Yet, even to this murderous Grinch, we send out a Peaceful Thanksgiving, and tell him like Langston Hughes would’ve told him, “Though you’ve tried to make us stop laughin’, stop lovin’, and stop livin’, yes, we care. BUT WE’RE STILL HERE!”(I know that’s right.).
Being A Belle In Business
PART I OF II
Empowered Greet- ings. When it comes to being in business there are 5
characteristics of a Belle (beautiful woman) that will help you get paid.
Belle is one of the leading characters in the movie Beauty and the Beast. A Belle, however, is a woman that is admired for her beauty and her charm. In the private sector of your personal life and in the business sector for your professional life, it is im- portant that you govern your- self with a certain level of
grace and charm. If you do, you'll find that you can actu- ally get more accomplished and garner more support for your endeavors. Although, beauty, grace and charm are important, I want to focus on 5 characters attributed to Belle, from Beauty and the Beast, by the people of the vil- lage where she lived.
These 5 unusual char- acteristics can cause your business to boom and your bank account to ex- plode.
1. Belle was said to be strange. Guess what? It's ok to be strange. Strange means
you are distinctive. You are set apart from the norm. In business, the thing that sets you apart from everyone, is the thing that determines your increased value and worth. So, DARE TO BE DIFFERENT! Your differ- ence will determine the dol- lars you deliver to your bank account. People want to do business with people that are not doing business like every- one else. Your difference will make a difference in your life and the life of your clients.
2. The villagers saw Belle as being dazed and distracted. This was true for her and should be true for you. Get dazed and distracted from the everyday norm, in order to be dazed and dis- tracted by your dreams of a better future. This type of dis- traction is not fatal but it's fundamental to the fulfill- ment of your purpose.
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