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 Discuss your own funeral arrangements with your family and funeral director. Taking care of life’s “paperwork” can help restore a sense of control and give you peace of mind.
Be patient with yourself
Grieving takes time. It takes far longer than anyone expects, particularly you. You really don’t ever get “over it” but you can get “through it”. This loss is a part of your life. Be assured, you will not always feel as you do right now. Listen to yourself and go forward at your own pace. Don’t be surprised when grief shows up again. Just when you think you might be doing better, you may find yourself crying in the grocery store or when you hear a specific song on the radio. Anger and guilt can strike anywhere at any time. Forgive yourself for living when your loved one did not.
Find yourself
Grief has changed your life completely. You cannot go back to being who you were. You really don’t ever get “over it” but you can get “through it”. You can learn to live with who you are now. Most bereaved people experience a change of perspective and discover that their priorities change. Now is a time to take a personal inventory and reassess your
beliefs and values. You may find great comfort in your faith community as you look for meaning. You will discover new strengths and talents. Trust your heart.
Create new routines and rituals
Develop new routines and patterns as you search for the new you. Acknowledge the empty chair and move it. Rearrange your furniture and create a space just for you. Exercise at a specific time each day. Journal and make an entry daily. Daily patterns will help you develop your new identity and find a new normality. Find ways to remember the life of your loved one daily. You do not have to say goodbye. It is important to acknowledge the change in your relationship. You do not stop loving someone just because they have died. You can still maintain a relationship in your heart.
Reach out to others
Learn to ask for what you need. Your family and friends want to help, so let them know how. Turn to people you can trust for support and for information. Find people who will listen when you want to talk. Leave the scrapbook or photo album out on the coffee table so others can remember and share memories with you. You may want to talk to others who are grieving, consider joining a support

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