Page 74 - Advance Copy: Todd Kaufman, Author

TODD KAUFMAN
decided to start working far too hard, and way too many hours. It appeared the simplest things would have him flushing my system with adrenaline and cortisol. And since you now understand the symptoms of having high levels of these hormones in your system, you can imagine that my world wasn’t too enjoyable.
My stress levels, anxiety, and even the occasional panic attack were off the chart and were totally unacceptable. My gut reaction during a panic attack was to fight back. I was prepared to do anything to fight off the symptoms. Therapists, psychotherapists, and psychologists told me I had all sorts of psychological problems. They named things like Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) and gave me exercises to fight back with like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) homework, meditation homework, and a wide variety of other tools and modalities that seemed to help a little bit, but not enough, much less solve my problem. I was never able to win the fight against Homer. The psychiatrist would reach for the prescription pad and encourage me to take drugs that would either cover up the symptoms or mess with my brain chemistry. Apparently they thought I was broken.
I wasn’t so sure. But I knew was at my wits end: I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. The littlest thing would make Homer flush my system with adrenaline and cortisol in a moment’s notice.
So I gave up on all the experts and I started to do my own research. I found tons of books, research articles and studies on anxiety and panic attacks. I’ve always loved being an academic so I dove into the literature and poured through the volumes of materials. In the eyes of my colleagues and even my college at the time, I was becoming a bit of a specialist, or maybe even an expert.
But the truth was, I really didn’t know “the answer.” I was pretty darn good at teaching and going through the various modalities that helped. But somehow, no matter how hard I
50