Page 210 - 2000 Wardlaw Hartridge

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Senior Predictions-
Neil Ardeshna; having acquired a Carnegie Mellon edueation, Hasmukh finally allows his son to take over Krishna’s General Store. Nasir Memon; develops his own vocab-builder called “Hooked on Memonics” which sadly fails since no one can understand anything he says, forcing him to retire to Jamaica as a steel drum player. AtulJain; starts a dairy farm in his backyard with one eow and a bucket, which eventually develops into a 500 acre conglomerate, making him millions. Sarah Murphy; attends every class in college. Donald Pretty: starts an amusement park with his twenty-six siblings ealled Pat-ti World. Sabrina Meisowitz; meets with an unfortunate hunting accident while taking a casual stroll in a safari. Blake Weinberger; goes bald. Chris Lecky: buys the Wardlaw-Hartridge School over the internet and appoints himself as headmaster of the entire school. Alex Hooshangi; gets hit to hard during football practice and begins to think he is a superhero known as the Wombat, a crime fighting rodent who gains his powers from cheese Peter Yulo: in a heroic attempt to save Sabrina, Pete meets with a fatal aecident after being attacked by a swarm o f angry
killer bees. A native recorded his last words: “Yo ... Chill B!” Raghav Murthy: transfers to Upenn but gets kicked ou after attempting to bribe his physics professor. Fortunately, he finds success and fame after joining the RuffRyder’s world tour. Eric Rosenberg; having failed as Funk Master Rosenberg, Eric becomes a wall squeegee eleaner at a 25 cent “movie” show booth. Rahman Banks; gets hit by a ear while trying to pass out copies of the Final Message. Lauren Bowers: goes by the name of “L-Boogie” and becomes the leader of the Los Angeles chapter of the bloods. Khaleef Chiles; having damaged his vocal chords, his only line of work is mopping the floors at a 25 cent “movie” show booth ... with Eric ... o f course. Joe Clanton; hospitalized after E.J. gets his revenge. Natasha Davis; keeps her rugrats clock for eighty years and sells it as a collectible, having been the sole proprietor of the only one sold by Radio Shack during it’s existence. Branice Fletcher: still waiting in the parking lot outside of the Rainforest Cafe for someone to take her home. Mark Goetz; drops out of college and beeomes the ringleader of a notorious gang of circus midgets. Khalid Nisar; takes a semester abroad in Spain and runs with the bulls only to realize that they are not halal. Jimmie Banta: during his search for game, discovers the lost city o f Atlantis and the fountain o f youth, only to realize that his game was in his back pocket the whole time. Matt Martinelli; wins the gold at the 2004 Olympics in the 100-meter hurdles and then flies back to L.A. to accept his MTV movie award for best dance sequence. Brenden Padgett; finally finds a hat that fits. Gerald Fittipaldi; develops his own brand of Chinese food called “Stir-fried Noodles by Noodles.” Alison
Hunt; a.k.a. “A-Love”, is acquitted after having started a riot along with her followers, the Crypts, against “L-Boogie” and the Bloods. Collin Howard; wins the academy award for Best Actor but still finds life meaningless, forcing him to retire from the industry and become a butcher. Min Kang; sues Nasir Memon after using “Hooked on Memonics” claiming that thanks to the vocab-builder, now even the ESL kids make fun of her English. Lauren Krulick; marries Kevin Garrity and has kids who enter the Guinness Book of World Records as the world’s tallest and shortest people.
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Bridget Schroder; marries Rob Lombardi. Bill Held; ... check this week’s horoscope. Katie Mericle: becomes an old school Muslim and changes her name to Malika Rasheeda Titikissa Shabaaz Nalia X the third ... mommy Gina never hears from her again. Edward Tan; gets hit by a car, which propels him into the air and then gets hit again when he lands on a soecer bench and a tree falls on him, causing Joe to sit in a police station for 4 hours. Samantha Spivey: becomes a world-renowned nun and starts a convent for mislead teens. Kim Karlen; moves to Alaska where she lives the life of
a nomadie Eskimo until one of her rings freezes to her fishing pole. Harris Jacobs; makes it to the finals of the Masters but gets disqualified on the 9th hole after he misses a putt and starts screaming about someone named Uncle Bobby. Nick Jayson; wins the Nobel peace prize for advancements in the field of Nuclear Physics. Khalid Latif: gets married to a girl named Kaliya who is a 7’2” Pakistani Muslim, but unfortunately she dies in a fatal car accident... luckily there were driver side air-bags. Gaurav Karnani; gives up his life of luxury and travels to India, first by canoe then by donkey, where he eventually builds a temple and becomes a pundit. Weafue Saab; breaks the color barrier on Baywatch by beeoming the first black male lifeguard to ever work on the show. Jackie Vargas; drops out of NYU and moves to Battery Park where she becomes the leader of the Latin Kings. Rob Bengivenga; gets married to Jeannine in the future. They get divorced, they get married, they get divorced, they get married, they get divoreed, they get married, they get divorced, they get married ... whatever.
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