Page 207 - 1997 Wardlaw Hartridge

I
Senior Predictions
Anand Ashar Becomes mayor of Linden, running on The Coalition for Women's Rights ticket, but gets arrested for fixing the election, nevertheless, he still
lives by the ghetto law.
Josh Hoesch rinally proves that aliens live in an underground tunnel connecting Area 51 to the Pentagon.
Marissa Owsianik Qets arrested at an Oasis concert.
Jodie Frankei Through one of her Tarot card readings, discovers that it really was Mr. Paoli who stole her gym clothes.
Tom Sobe Stars as Qargamel in the revival of Smurfs on ice. but losing another battle with a Janitor's closet. Joins the Michigan militia as "one-armed Sobe.
riolan Sullivan Claims to invent the world's most accurate lie detector, but after taking it, it is proven that he actually did not invent it. Jeremy fienny Becomes OQ Man o f the Year and forms his own clothing line for the "distinguished gentleman. "
Jon Bandonrer Becomes South Carolina senator and Is advocate of a new method of capital punishments: DEATH BY MOOKIE-MOOKIE. Lisa Gay As US Attorney General she is responsible of the arrest and conviction of notorious politician Anand Ashar.
Hay Sundland After several failed attempts as "DJ Ray-Ray", he starts a Utah commune supporting polygamy.
Stephanie Co Finally gets her shot at couch Jumping and sets a new world record at twelve couches.
Hiran Outhikonda Wins the Hobel Prize for discovering the vaccine for AIDS, but then has it taken away because he Just "forgot how he found it."
Hevin tlooshangi Combining his love of dancing with his Persian heritage, he becomes a belly dancer.
John Herestezy Develops a severe case of insomnia.
Marianna Biribin Drops out of the lead role in Cats to go to Africa in pursuit of the last of the race of the three-legged-finkle,
Todd Casazza Under the pseudonym of Todd Castazza, co-authors the textbook. Economics and i. 11 Aliya iaf/T Having overcome her aquatic fear, she develops a high-tech underwater clock (digital, of course.)
Oscar Linares Kills a man with his bare hands, having been called a "Vigo."
Devin Davis After years of scientific research, finally develops the "perfect derriere."
fiarry Brenner Takes a shower, cuts his hair, goes to Harvard Law School, and becomes a conservative yuppie.
Silvia Lee Following the advice of Miss Qisriel, she drops out of college and enrolls into clown university.
Robert Frankei Goes to Jail for "finally getting his revenge" on Jordan Asedo.
Kurt Goetz Moves to Venice Beach, where he lifts weights by day and wines and dines fine women by night.
Jon tlegna Takes his swimming expertise to Sea World where he stars in the show: "Miss T. Laverne and her Two Otters."
Lauren iiakaia Frustrated by the lack of good men in her life, she becomes a man, moves to Riverdale, and goes by the name, Archie.
Marissa Miller Qets locked up in a mental asylum for taking Genera! hospital too seriously; she is heard screaming, "Luke is dead! Luke is dead!"
Derek Rogers Moves to Florida where he finds out, contrary to his belief, that Florida really does get cold.
Michelle Rudnitzky Jo
s a convent and takes a vow of celibacy.
ian Dawson Jumps 35' at the Sydney Olympics, but then retires from track to become president of the North American Chapter of the Golden Girls Fan Club.
Joe hreno Last seen fishing in the Poconos. Police are looking for a suspect resembling Kojak, only 200 lbs. heavier.
Tiicole Everhart Plagued by a guilty conscience, she breaks down and admits that the superlatives are fixed.
Pat Campbell Wins the Academy Award for best documentary with his home video of The Underground Man. starring Jason Martucci.
Eric Mele Moves to Texas where he builds the Yippie-tii-Yo Steakhouse, selling the "best dang ribs in the South." He drives a modified Suzuki with cow horns on the front.
SamJanardhan Returns to W-H to teach Chemistry, but in a freak Bunsen burner accident burns down the school.
■Andrew Choe Compromises his sexuality and gets a Job at the cross-dressing restaurant Lucky Chang's. He is now known as "Won Ton Sue."
Amy Sullivan Goes to the Yippie-hi-Yo Steakhouse where, to the amazement of those watching, she breaks the record for most ribs eaten in one sitting: 225.
Michael Babik Following his love for the Star Wars character Chewbacca, he creates the country's newest fad: the wookie cookie.
Andrew Fishkoff To the thrill of Mrs. McMullen, Joins Sean McMullen as U.S. vice-president and passes a law forcing all men to have long curly hair.