Page 46 - 1936

THE CLASS PROPHECY
I used to read. You ask to what I attribute my success? Well, I have always felt that it was the yellow spico tea that captivated my guests.”
Thank you very much, Madame de Bricoton.
The eminent scientist, Miss Elizabeth Coates, has just revealed that she has finally completed the theory of the fifth dimension. Even Mr. Einstein is nonplussed. Miss Coates, you remember, is the remarkable genius who proved a few years back that all straight lines are curves.
Actresses seem to be doing well this year. . . . Two American fi’m stars have just taken England by storm in the spectacular film, “Life, the Insane.” In the many times that I have seen this splendid picture when produced with a different cast, never have I witnessed such superb performances. The actresses who made it such a grand suc cess are Miss Betty Ivins and Miss Helen Flanders. Miss Flanders plays with ease the part of a demented woman. Her shrill, uncanny screams send shivers down the spines of the spectators. The uproarious comedy in this cinema was supplied by the inimitable Miss Ivins. Who would have thought that this little girl would have gone so far?
News from Florida. Miss Katharine Hayward, famous authoress, has finished her latest novel, “Sand Fleas.” Miss Hayward received her inspiration for the great epic from basking on the sand dunes beneath the Florida sun. She is coming North soon to start work on a new book of short stories. They undoubtedly will be very inter esting and amusing.
News for the ladies! ! ! Miss Elizabeth Kinney, designer of heads for the mil linery departments of the New York stores, has just completed her new set. Miss Kinney has found a new preparation for their hair which makes them seem com pletely natural. Don’t let your husbands look into the shop windows, ladies. It would be terrible if they were to fall for one of Miss Kinney's heads.
Whoopee! ! ! Miss Keiser has just landed on Mars. Due to excellent radio equipment we are tuning in on the Martian Landing Field. Take it away Mars!
“Glub, glub hidge pudge, as they say here—Hello, Earth. Being a woman of few words, I’ll only say----------.”
Sorry, ladies and gentlemen, but something has gone wrong with the connection. I see now that my time is up, so cheerio! ! !
rmTmimiTinTrriTrr
M. A. S., K. H. H., M. W. C., ’36.
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