Page 102 - WhyAsInY

Why (as in yaverbaum)
called Happyland. It is from that event that I believe I subsequently learned the meaning of the word misnomer. I was three years old.
Oh, and I would be remiss if I were not to include the following at this point: It transpires that Phyllis Lynn Rebell, my wife of seventeen years, depending upon how you count, and the mother of Daniel Aaron Yaverbaum, Peter Adam Yaverbaum, and Rachel Amy Yaverbaum Beninati, my fabulous, loving, and truly beloved children, is an alumna of Happyland, Class of ’49 (cum laude, at least). No, Ms. Rebell and I did not meet in the sandbox. My mother told me that I did become attached to a different little girl at Happyland. Her name was Carol Ann, and Mom said that I insisted on referring to her, apparently my first girlfriend, as Calorann. She (Carol Ann) made no lasting impres- sion on me.
My memories of nursery school having been recited in full, we now come to the start of my really formal education, my time at P.S. 193. As going to elementary school is in retrospect an incoherent set of experi- ences, I shall not attempt to discuss it in narrative form. Rather, with your anticipated permission, I shall itemize the lessons learned and the events that I actually recall from that time period, editorializing and expatiating (a word that I do not believe that I learned at 193) where I deem it appropriate:
• When the glass that is inside a thermos bottle of milk that you car- ried to school in your lunch box breaks, and you do not become aware of that fact until lunchtime, a very distinct and not particularly pleas- ant odor will greet you when you go looking for your Oreos.
• It is not a good thing to sit on a bench and imitate the race to the wardrobe at the end of the day by stamping your feet loudly—espe- cially if Mrs. Kelly sees you do it.
• Sneaking up on Linda Quagliere’s table in the lunchroom in the first grade, planting a kiss on her cheek, and then running back to your table is not such a bad thing—even if Mrs. Kelly does see you do it.
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