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noitacude suoigileR yM
of the holidays, you don’t get to eat at all, not even apples! There’s even a holiday when you don’t eat, swim, or smile; it’s Tisha B’Av, which com- memorates a series of disasters that befell the Jewish people, the most important of which were the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem by the Babylonians on the ninth day of the month of Av in 586 BCE and by the Romans on the ninth day of the month of Av in 70 ACE.
(We were taught in Hebrew School that one should use BCE, which stands for “Before the Common Era,” and then CE (Common Era), because Jews do not believe in saying “Before Christ” or “Anno Domini,” meaning, in Latin, “the Year of Our Lord.” For years, my classmates and I mistakenly thought that the terms to use were BCE, “Before the Com- mon Era,” and ACE, a cool formulation that meant “After the Common Era.” Unfortunately, as I ultimately realized, this would leave Jews with- out—and wondering when was—the Common Era. I took comfort, however, when I also realized that the Roman Church had left us with- out a Year Zero—so, as I also realized, the twenty-first century would actually begin on January 1, 2001, not January 1, 2000, as is commonly supposed. Of course, that also meant that Jesus of Nazareth lived for more than one year and was not born in Year One.)
At Camp Starlight (for which, see Chapter Eleven), if it was hot on Tisha B’Av, which normally occurs in August, you ate but couldn’t swim, and the mourning ritual, presumably to symbolize a time for tears, was a campus-wide water fight—conducted without any smiling. If you observe all of the Jewish holidays, you might even be excused—in New York City, at least—from attendance at public school during the months of September and October, the autumn being positively riddled with festivals and fast days. In any event, you can be sure that, whether you’re eating or fasting, if you’re observant, you’re always singing.
I shall not bore you with the remainder of what I learned in Hebrew School, except to assure you that there was very little rigorous attention paid to Jewish theologians, especially Martin Buber, who was an exis- tentialist. Rather, I will plunge ahead to tell you about what was for me the whole point of Hebrew School: not just to get to my bar mitzvah, but to get through my bar mitzvah.
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