Page 217 - WhyAsInY
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you Can taKe tHe Boy out of BrooKlyn
tion at Smith and Holyoke). I did get to the point where I could identify possible prospects by using their name and high school to see if they might be in my comfort zone, but I recall little in the way of success going by the book.
There was thought to be a very valuable supplement to the pig books: A story made the rounds, as it apparently did each year, that at Smith all frosh were required to take a course that was known as Basic Motor Skills, or “BMS” for short. BMS, a relic of days when white gloves were worn to dinner, was designed to make sure that the young ladies would have appropriate posture and know how best to descend a flight of stairs when in full view (a skill that you would need if you were invited to, say, the White House) or to get out of an automobile from the front seat, passenger side. The answers were diagonally and swiveling on your behind with your knees together, respectively (as if you didn’t know). Anyway, to gauge the improvement that the young ladies made, “posture pictures” were taken at the start of the first semester. It was rumored that the girls would pose for the posture pictures in a state of déshabillé, whereas they were in fact in their undergarments in the State of Massachusetts. (Yes, I know that it’s the Commonwealth of Massa- chusetts, but I’m not sure that I knew it then, and, anyway, by now I think that you’ll permit me a little poetic license.) In either event, the photos were thought to be a treasure trove, better even than the pig books. Unfortunately—or fortunately, depending upon your point of view—they never saw the light of day, and the men of Amherst were left to fantasize but not to capitalize.
Even when I could find an agreeable young lady in the picture book and a ride, usually by hitching, to Northampton or South Hadley to meet the result of a good phone call, there were no triumphs, none at all. The odds were stacked against it. On top of everything with which we competed was the rule that girls from the two local schools could not sign out for an overnight to a location within twenty-five miles. That gave Yale or Dartmouth guys a decided advantage. So, you’re sixteen or, in any event, quite young, you come from a public high school in Brook- lyn, you can maybe offer good conversation over an ice cream soda or a
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