Page 261 - WhyAsInY

Mass revival
Unlike today’s school calendars, which are designed to have first- semester examinations completed before the Christmas break, Amherst’s calendar in the sixties had classes ending in early January. It thereby ruined what should have been a good holiday: with semester-end still looming, the pressure of writing final papers and studying for final exams persisted through Christmas and New Year’s. To cope with that situation, I, the eternal procrastinator, decided to reform my ways by employing a novel strategy. I concluded that by taking the traditional four-day Thanksgiving break to get a serious leg up on my studies, I would be able to ease the year-end pressure substantially. Rather than driving to and from Brooklyn and eating lots of good food, but not studying or writing at home, I would remain in Phi Gam during Thanks- giving with four of the brothers who were similarly inclined, and work, work, work without distraction.
As you would imagine, it soon became obvious that work, work, working during a period when other people are celebrating, celebrat- ing, celebrating makes very little sense. Accordingly, the five of us decided to relieve the academic tension and sought out dates with suitable Smithies: Smithies who might not have gone home for the holidays, Smithies who, naturally, were also serious academes. Joan Bertin satisfied all requirements. It also turned out that she liked to party (what a surprise!) and had a soft spot for Colt 45, a malt liquor known for its “kick,” which we secured with alacrity. This was all well and good, except for one small item: it transpired that the college had a rule that prohibited students from entertaining females in the dorms or fraternity houses during holiday periods, when the college was “officially closed.” I truly did not know this rule, but apparently some- one in DKE, our neighboring rival fraternity, did, and he decided to report our transgression to the House Management Committee, an organ through which the fraternities disciplined themselves. I there- fore had to appear before the Committee, admit my transgression, show remorse, and promise not to do it again. For that performance and the underlying crime, I was placed on “social probation” (oddly enough, “social pro” for short), for, I think, a period of two weeks. I’m
• 243 •